Military Wisdom*

*Musta been written by enlisted men.

Got these from my old school pal and retired Master Chief Steve. Some of them are hilarious. They're all true.

· "If the enemy is in range, so are you." — Infantry Journal.

· "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." — US Air Force Manual.

· "Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons." — General MacArthur .

· "You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." — U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

· "Tracers work both ways." — U.S. Army Ordnance Manual.

· "Five second fuses only last three seconds." — Infantry Journal.

· The three most useless things in aviation are: Fuel in the bowser; Runway behind you; and Air above you. — Basic Flight Training Manual.

· "Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once." — Maritime Ops Manual.

· "Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." — Unknown Marine Recruit

· "If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." — USAF Ammo Troop.

· "You've never been lost until you’ve been lost at Mach 3." — Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot).

· "The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire." —Unknown Author.

· "If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter — and therefore, unsafe." — Fixed Wing Pilot.

· "When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash." — Multi-Engine Training Manual.

· "Without ammunition, the USAF is just an expensive flying club." — Unknown Author.

· "If you hear me yell; 'Eject, Eject, Eject!,' the last two will be echoes. If you stop to ask 'Why?' you’ll be talking to yourself, because you're the pilot." — Pre-flight Briefing from a 104 Pilot.

· "What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies." — Sign over Control Tower Door.

· "Never trade luck for skill." — Author Unknown.

· "Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight." — Basic Flight Training Manual.

· "Mankind has a perfect record in aviation — we have never left one up there!" — Unknown Author.

· "Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it." — Emergency Checklist.

· "The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you." — Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot).

· "There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." — Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ.

· "If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to." — Sign over Carrier Group Operations Desk.

· "You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal." — Lead-in Fighter Training Manual .

· As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives. The rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?" The pilot’s reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!".