Quotes of the Day

Kos

Los Angeles erases its budget deficit in an instant after issuing its first-ever ticket to the Space Shuttle Endeavour for violating every motor vehicle law ever written.

Wishful thinking dept.:

Tuesday: President Obama and Mitt Romney meet for debate #2 at Hofstra University in Hempstead, NY. Moments later, Republicans switch places with Democrats on window ledges.

Austrian daredevil Felix Baumgartner and his parachute are finally freed from Gladys Higginbotham's Albuquerque chimney after she reports to police that all that Austrian swearing wasn't in her head after all.