Oh, the irony

Ironic Times

Conservative Mormon Senator Mike Crapo Arrested for Drunk Driving Makes Never Being Arrested Again for Drunk Driving His New Year’s Resolution
Gambling, whoring must wait until 2014.

Heh. Good resolution for a politician - do it, just don't get caught at it.

Confirmed: Asteroid Won't Hit Earth in 2040
Thirty-year mortgages once again available.

3D Printers Will Soon Be Capable of Printing Human Organs
Promising immortality, assuming you have the right ink cartridge.

Pot Vending Machines Coming Soon to Washington, Colorado
Look for them as soon as you've settled at your new address in either state.

From "New Laws For 2013":

Fast Food Order Time Limit Statute (Spokane): Stoned patrons of fast food restaurants must place their order in “a timely fashion” or relinquish their place in line.

Autonomous Vehicle Restrictions (San Jose): Driverless vehicles barred from drive-in movie theaters, outdoor churches, drag races.

Hmmmmm. There are implications for NASCAR there. Think of the money the France family and all the teams could save...then again, driverless cars might mean spectatorless grandstands. They'd still be OK on TV.