Monday, March 18, 2013

New Republican Plan: Try to Fool All of the People All of the Time

El Rude-o on the Repugs' autopsy of Why They Lost.

[...] In other words, how to lie better and how to get more people to believe the lies, a new and improved motherfuckery.

See, the big problem is perception, you know. Yeah, it took massive polling and surveying and phone calling and a shit ton of money paid to someone to find out that when people are "[a]sked to describe Republicans, they said that the Party is 'scary,' 'narrow minded,' and 'out of touch' and that we were a Party of 'stuffy old men.'" Honestly, it sounds like they're describing a cabal of creepy child molesters or the Catholic Church (or, you know, both at the same time). And it ain't helped by shit like Mitch McConnell's white staff doing the "Harlem Shake."

The problem here isn't that people see the GOP as a bunch of cigar-smoking bankers. It's that people know what they are: a bunch of jerk-offs who believe appalling things who do nothing but block the efforts of the President they elected twice and who are supported by an assortment of Obama-deranged racists, gun-toting idiots, sexist and homophobic assholes, and Rush Limbaugh, along with the cigar-smoking bankers.

How hilariously does this document miss as a self-examination? Well, it's as if it grabbed its balls, felt a strange lump on one, and decided that all that it needed to do to make that go away is to masturbate more.

Here's a solution the Rude Pundit has proposed a number of times to Republicans: Stop being dicks. It's really that simple. You're a bunch of dicks. When you look in the mirror, that's a dick looking back at you. Honestly, if you want to have any relevance at all, it's all you gotta do. We see through the smoke screen, no matter who is blowing it.
Fat chance. To quit being dicks, they'd have to abandon their "principles" like they know the meaning of the word and give up all the mean-ass bullshit they've been peddling all these years. Ain't gonna happen without one helluva lot of funerals. Fine by me.

When a motorcycle is as broken as the Repug party, new chrome ain't gonna fix it. The only solution is to lift up the gas cap and slip a new motorcycle under it.

They need to break off the Tea Party but then they wouldn't have ANY voters. Heh.


montag said...

Everybody knows what the Republican/Teabaggers need. The problem is that too many important people get their rice bowls broken if they change. Not gonna happen. They are going to milk that cow to the last drop.

Gordon said...

They're almost there. They're milking it with channellocks...

wkmaier said...

I would suggest lobotomies for all Republicans,but the cost is a problem. Obviously, Medicare will cover some...


Gordon said...

Better a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy!

The way they talk, they must think we've all had the lobotomies instead of just their teabagger base.

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