Seven Rows Of Seven Stars.

Or six of eight. Last 3 ¶ of a lovely snarkathon by Will Durst.

Face it, Florida is America's penis. Not just talking about the shape either. Anyone who's been there can attest: It's hot. It's wet. It's wrinkled. We're 237 years old; isn't it about time America became a man? We should circumcise ourselves. Cut Florida off right at the Georgia border, kick it into Caribbean and rename it North Cuba.

Or put out some feelers; see if anyone's interested in acquiring it. Refloat that Fountain of Youth rumor. Drop hints about abandoned booty. Ixnay on the osquitosmay. Who knows, might even entice Spain into rekicking the tires. Sure, they're hurting, but 1350 miles of coastline is nothing to sneeze at.

Already figured out the new flag redesign. 7 rows of 7 stars. And while we're busy revamping our nation's outline, perhaps this would be a good time for a serious conversation about Texas. What say we make a few discreet inquiries to Mexico- see if they'd be interested in taking it back in a straight up trade for Baja?

Baja'd be a terrific state and we wouldn't have to change the flag from 49!

I think we should be designing star patterns on the flag down to 40 or less, but that's just me.