We won't hit ourselves in the ass with the door on the way out...

Let the Dysfunctional Plantation-Based Red States Secede

I've got no problem with this. If we learned anything from last time, it's that you can't fix stupid. Better to let 'em go than fight to keep them.

Simply put, the Tea Party represents the 21st century rebirth of angry 19th century white male Confederates who wanted to secede from the United States and start their own dysfunctional country based on a plantation economy.

Maybe we should let them.

That was the slow pitch. Now for the fast curve:

And while we’re at it, let’s make it easier for Ted Cruz, Michelle Bachmann and the rest of their Tea Party friends to start their own plantation-economy style country, by starting a secessionist movement of our own in the “blue” states.

The idea of northern industrialized states seceding from America is nothing new.

Bada bing! If they won't secede, and they won't because they like our money too much, maybe we should.

It’s time for a new Hartford Convention.

So what would an America free of Southern lunacy and Tea Party radicalism look like?

Long list follows.

And, the Medicare eligibility age would be lowered to the moment birth, giving us a national single-payer healthcare system.

When this is accomplished, America will reflect a 21st century version of the ideals and visions of the Founders.

If it takes a secession of “blue” America to achieve all of this, then so be it.

It’s time to let small-minded bigots go back to their plantation-style economies and let them run their states like third-world countries.

Maybe instead of us seceding, we oughta just throw their ignorant racist asses out. It would be a grand experiment during which we would prosper from not sending more tax money to the moocher states than they pay in, and it would be over as soon as the people started to starve and begged to be let back in. Maybe, just maybe, they'd figure out the world doesn't work now the way it did 200 years ago and develop a little humility. I'd be happy if they'd just STFU. Ah, never happen.

Ever the optimist, I'm going to invest in chain link fence, barbed wire, and land mine companies. Might as well make a little money from the border fence that keeps sane people out of crazyland or the other way 'round. It'll be a long one.