A Secession Plan That Works

Joel Stein in Time magazine. Because you may not be able to access it behind their paywall, here it is in toto.

Why should Ukraine be the only country that’s ripe for splitting in two?

The reason there’s so much dysfunction and gridlock in Washington, I tell people, is honesty. It’s not like the two halves of our country ever got along great, but for a while we had an uneasy compromise, because Southerners refused to join the party of Lincoln. So red Democrats muted blue ones, and rich Northerners, who had no reason to join this weird compromise, became liberal Republicans, muting the red ones. So for 200 years, politicians from the two halves were able to make compromises that were good for everyone except black people. Then, like some great national therapist, Ronald Reagan turned the South Republican by encouraging it to express how it really felt, which ruined everything. Now we fight all the time, and it’s not good for the kids. Half our country watches Fox News, the other half watches MSNBC, and both watch Duck Dynasty but for very different reasons.

We should peacefully break into two countries, one made of red states and one of blue. The red one would still be called the United States of America, since it would otherwise have to alter the lyrics of every song its citizens know. The blue one would be renamed something racially inclusive and exceedingly long and hard to remember. The Exceedingly Long-Named Country would be free to have the laws it has always griped about not being able to pass. Instead of guns, cops would carry Change.org petitions. Strip malls would be full of Planned Parenthood clinics. Recreational drugs would be sold at convenience stores instead of in convenience-store parking lots. It would be a Scandinavia-like country where very few people worked, income was redistributed through taxes and all the citizens lied to one another about which movies they saw.

Once the blue states were their own country, they would develop a greater appreciation for the South, as a foreign country they could visit when Mexico seemed like too much effort and Canada too little. A land filled with charming storytellers so friendly they say “Hi” even though they don’t know you. A place with the best breakfasts in the entire world. Where it’s easy to navigate since everyone speaks English, but figuring stuff out is still a bit of a fun challenge because, after all, it’s not really English. A place where you can shoot guns, drive cars with combustion engines and drink beer that isn’t painfully bitter–all at the same time. Best of all, the vacation would be really cheap. Imagine the fun of paying for your bed-and-breakfast with colorful Southern money. “Two Dolly Partons and one Merle Haggard? That’s like half a Samuel Gompers!” And just like when Northerners visit any other foreign country, if they get sick on vacation, they’ll want to come back home since the hospitals down there definitely won’t take their health care coverage. This split would in no way prevent Southerners from vacationing up North for the same reasons they always have: they have relatives there and have no choice.

The South would serve as a buffer between the North and Mexico, allowing Northerners to pass all the immigration laws they want without actually having any immigrants. They could make environmental treaties with foreign nations about how to extract natural resources, since they’ll have no natural resources anyway. The South, meanwhile, could pass laws every month not to raise its debt ceiling since, let’s face it, no one is going to lend a Southerner money.

One reason people are reluctant to do this, I know, is that they feel it would waste all the hard work done by Abraham Lincoln. Not at all. The Civil War provided vital benefits, such as ending slavery, turning us into a superpower and keeping our dads busy with piles of nonfiction books. But since the Cold War ended, we haven’t had any decent competition and we’ve been slacking. Splitting the U.S. in two will spur us on. We’ll have the two biggest militaries, the two biggest economies and, it’s safe to assume, the two gaudiest flags. Israel will be thrilled to double its number of allies. The Super Bowl will be way more exciting when instead of the AFC playing the NFC, the USA will face off against the Exceedingly Long-Named Country. The Miss America Pageant, however, will be exactly the same, other than having only 25 contestants.

While we work out all the paperwork to separate into two countries, we’ll have to go back to getting along and agreeing to compromise. Because if we keep up with the gridlock in D.C. and the vitriol in our conversations, our breakup is going to be far too acrimonious to allow President Jan Brewer and President Jon Stewart to get along.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

CRIMEANS VOTE TO JOIN RUSSIA, SECEDE
Reject alternative (Secede, Join Russia).

World on Brink of Another Cold War
Three new Bond films greenlighted.

Analysis: GOP Split by Generational Divide
Old guard opposes same-sex marriage, abortion, legalizing marijuana, immigration reform, affirmative action, food stamps, Medicare, Medicaid, social security, taxes and any programs to help the poor; young guard disagrees with them on pot.

California Gov. Brown Unsure About Pot Legalization, Asks, “How Many People Can Get Stoned and Still Have a Great State?”
Then answers his own question: “Wow, man, that is such a total mind bender...”

REMINDER
Ask your pot dispensary if they accept bitcoins.

The Answer Is Turnout: Vote, You Jackass

It's not too early to be thinking about this.

William Rivers Pitt

Bill Clinton, in his first inauguration speech, said, "There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be fixed by what is right with America." One of the things that is right with America is your right to vote, and when I hear people say voting does not matter, does not make a difference, it makes me want to tear my teeth out.

Math: the coocoobirds who think dinosaurs don't exist because they aren't mentioned in the Bible comprise, give or take, about 12% of the voting population in America. They are a small minority within a minority party. When only 50% of the voting population shows up to vote in a presidential election year, that 12% doubles to 25%, because those 12%-ers go to the polls even if it is raining live jaguars outside...which means any right-wing candidate who says the right things about Jesus, fetuses and guns is halfway to the 50.1% needed for victory before they put their pants on come election day. To call that an enormous advantage is to devalue the definition of "enormous."

...and in midterm elections - the ones that decide the entire House and a third of the Senate - turnout tends to sit somewhere around 35%, which means that 12% dead-bang guaranteed turnout actually flexes to about 40%. Which explains the current House of Representatives pretty succinctly.

So don't don't don't don't just don't you dare tell me that voting doesn't matter. That is a heaping crock of lazy crap. In point of fact, the decline this nation has endured over the last fifty years, the empowerment of the moneyed few over the many, and the rise in power of Taliban Christianity, exactly and precisely matches the dwindling turnout numbers on election day...which, by the bye, has a direct relationship to the "lesser of two evils" candidates you holier-than-thous refuse to turn out for. If you don't like your choices, it's because you didn't make a choice in the last election, and the one before, and the one before. Nature, and politics, abhor a vacuum. If you don't like what has filled it, non-voter, find a mirror and stare into the eyes of the reason why.

If you don't vote, you are responsible for this. If you vote, you can fix this. I have a fever-dream involving 80-90% turnout across the board in two consecutive elections, midterm and then general. Such a one-two punch event would change the country overnight, and these candidates you can't stomach would scurry back to the dark corners they came from. That kind of turnout would obliterate the power of money in politics in one fell swoop.

Shorter: The well-funded nutzoid right-wing voters make it a point to turn out to vote en masse for their sorry ideological shit and that's why we're fucked. WE OUTNUMBER THEM only if we show up and we had better.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

Click the YouTube icon in the lower right and read a lengthy and interesting piece on Irish music.

Published on Mar 11, 2014
Click "Show more" below for ++ eolas / info ! Bringing it all back home (to Ireland),Irish USA music,Philip King

Thanks to TG Amhrán.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

U.S. INTELLIGENCE FAILED TO PREDICT RUSSIAN MILITARY INVERVENTION IN CRIMEA
But did predict your patio makeover after you discussed it on the phone with Aunt Millie.

Priorities...

Washington, D.C. Decriminalizes Marijuana
It's now as legal for an adult to buy a joint as it is for a tobacco lobbyist to buy a congressman.

Radio Shack to Close 1100 Stores
Blames reduced demand for replacement vacuum tubes for Victrolas.

Report: Climate Change May Cause “Cascading System Failures”
First the ice caps will melt, then the coasts will flood, then the power grid will go out, then the cable will go out — and that's when it get serious.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

You know the songs...

Thanks to Larry Musicman.

Why We Did It - the unrated version

I'm sure a lot of us watched Rachel Maddow's report on why Cheney and Bush lied us into their criminal war in Iraq. We knew why 10 years ago. The report did flesh out some of the details and was well done but nothing earth-shatteringly new.

Daily Kos brought up some stuff I for one had not thought about. Worth a read.

MSNBC's short documentary titled “Why We Did It” that aired March 06th, 2014 was somewhat informative but mostly anticlimactic. The only people in this country who have never believed that these actions were about oil are either disingenuous for political reasons, or stupid.

A few simple facts:
a) Saddam Hussein was planning to switch to the Euro as his reserved currency, which would have had drastic effects on the value of the Dollar and the U.S. Economy. This is widely considered to be the prime motive for taking him out.

b) The spot price of oil bottomed out in 2002 at around $20.00 a barrel. By July 3rd, 2008, the spot price of oil had reached a peak of $145.31 a barrel. This upward trend tracks the progress of the war with an interesting parallel between a drop in Iraqi casualties in Jan 2008, the beginning of the Great Recession, and the sharp reduction in the price of oil after July 2008.

c)There is a bubble of record high profits by oil companies between late 2003 and 2008. Record oil profits track the war, not the peace.

They knew we had shale oil and that the infrastructure to extract shale oil was practically a pipe dream with oil prices at $20.00 a barrel. Meaning that the wars were not just a device for maximizing oil profits and the profits of oil tech companies like Halliburton but also a means to get the extraction infrastructure in place in the U.S. before demand from the new emerging BRIC countries would take hold.

The war wasn't to secure oil. it was about making the price of oil increase, both for sheer profit and to make fracking financially viable to make even more profit.

It's always about the Benjamins, dame Bush and Cheney's eyes.

CPAC Panderass Headline of the Day

Christie To Harry Reid: 'Stop Picking On Great Americans' Charles And David Koch

Tell the fuckin' loonies what they want to hear, I guess.

Headline of the Day

Vladimir Putin is Every Republican Bigot’s Wet Dream

Uh ... yup ...

First Pro-Marijuana Commercial Debuts on Major Network

I'm kind of kidding Fixer with this since he likes sushi aka "bait". :-)

Published on Feb 26, 2014
First Marijuana Commercial Debuts on Major Network produced by MarijuanaDoctors.com, the only service that connects patients with physicians for medical marijuana recommendations.

Visit www.MarijuanaDoctors.com to book your appointment or call 1-866-996-9333

Thanks to MarijuanaDoctors.com.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

From the "Latest Headlines" crawl:

Russian Olympic biathlon team seizes control of Crimes
...

'12 Years A Slaveowner' wins Hoodie at KKK Awards
...

Senate cafeteria replaces Russian dressing with Thousand Island dressing

UKRAINE CRISIS THREATENS NEW COLD WAR
Hegel orders all nuclear forces to immediately stop taking drugs and try to pass their proficiency exams without cheating.

Arizona Governor Vetoes Bill Allowing Businesses to Refuse Service to Gays
Says God told her to do it, “or lose the Super Bowl.”

Swiss Bank Helped Rich Evade Taxes
Also, this winter in Switzerland, it snowed.

Ukraine: Abandoned Yanukovych Estate Opened to Public
Used same decorator as Saddam, Qaddafi.

Ukrainegate

El Rude-o. Links at site.

Look to Bush and Iraq, Not Obama and Syria, If You Think the U.S. Has Lost Influence in the World

One consistent theme throughout the coverage of Ukrainegate (why not?) is that President Barack Obama is a big, wet pussy getting roughly fucked by the manly man Vladimir Putin. Obama drew a red line over Syria that he had to back down from, they say, because Putin stepped in to help get rid of Syria's chemical weapons, so Russia felt free to ignore Obama's red line on the Ukraine last week. Obama is naive or inexperienced or dumb or incompetent or some combination of those, others bitch. "Weak" and "indecisive," as Senator Lindsey Graham said, essentially repeating what he tells the young South Carolina twinks he picks up who are unsure if they wanna fuck an old man's ass.

There's one thing the Rude Pundit knows for sure about President Obama. He never came out of a meeting with Vladimir Putin and said, "I looked the man in the eye. I found him to be very straight forward and trustworthy and we had a very good dialogue. I was able to get a sense of his soul." That is what the last president of the United States, one George W. Bush, said in June 2001 at a press conference with the ex-KGB spy standing next to him. Democrats criticized Bush at the time (as did some conservatives), but they didn't go bugnuts condemning him as a throbbing vagina. They just thought it was weird. And anyone could see that Putin was conning the rube. As Joe Biden said then, "I don't trust Putin; hopefully the president was being stylistic rather than substantive." But what does Biden know?

The other thing that the Rude Pundit knows is that President Bush started a war in Iraq by lying not just to the American people, but to the leaders of nations around the world about weapons of mass destruction. Remember the "Coalition of the Willing," the countries that were led by credulous fools or easily cowed wimps or the bribe-able who agreed to help in some way with the completely worthless attack on a sovereign nation? This ain't "Blame Bush" only. It's geopolitical history, motherfuckers. The shame of it all is that the people who helped engineer our slow demise in world influence, like Graham and John McCain, are still allowed to act as if they know what's best for the nation.
...

Whatever happens in the Ukraine will be dictated primarily by how much of a power play Putin is after (or, you know, so the Rude Pundit thinks after his one-hour of research). Obama's limited in how he can respond, not only because we're not fuckin' going to war with Russia, but because the rest of the goddamn planet thinks we're a bunch of assholes who need to pay a goddamn price for dicking everyone over.

Everyone loves to see the giant squirm when he's been a global dick.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

Published on Feb 27, 2014
Going through my old LP collection and converting them to digital format. Lots of old gems have popped up, including this one. Such a melancholy song, made even more so by Emmylou's plaintive voice. What a treasure Emmylou has been, huh? I've been listening to her for over 40 years now. Can't say that about very many artists.

From the album "Cimarron", which I consider to be one of her best, if not *the* best. Written by Clinton Codack and Wendy Special.

I agree.

Thanks to Bob Marshall.

Quote of the Day

From "Bobby Jindal Gives Up, Joins the 'Stupid Party'":

Which is to say, if “Jindal 2016” were a race horse, I wouldn’t just hedge my bets—I’d buy shares in the glue factory.

Jindal's presidential aspirations died with his Howdy Doody/Kenneth the Page GOP response to the SOTU speech years ago. He's the only one who doesn't know it.

Update: Bonus QotD

From "Bobby Jindal: The Motherfucker at Work" by The Rude Guess Whom:

And then Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal, likely loser in the 2016 presidential race, walked up to the mike and decided, quite vividly, "Fuck this shit. I got some primaries to win."

Fearless prediction: He won't win even one. He will likely not even make a serious run at it if anyone has the balls to tell him he's darker "colored" than Obama and the south has had enough of that uppity shit!

Tinfoil Hat Brigade To March On D.C.

"1.8 Million Definite Militia Members" to March on DC, Install New Government

Harry Riley has a dream. On the morning of May 16, somewhere between 10 and 30 million (estimates vary) God-fearing patriots will assemble in Washington, DC, for what Riley, a retired Army colonel from the Florida panhandle, is calling "Operation American Spring." They’ll protest outside the White House by day and set up in campgrounds and RV parks outside the city by night. They won't leave until President Barack Obama, along with Attorney General Eric Holder and congressional leaders of both parties, resign and appear before a specially convened investigative tribunal for further disciplinary action—a polite version of a tea party coup. It's not likely to happen—but two former Fox News personalities have endorsed the endeavor.

"We have 1.8 million definite militia members coming," promises Operation American Spring spokeswoman Karen Smith. (The Anti-Defamation League pegs the number of American militia members at about 20,000.) "Other than that, we're not keeping a list of concerned people or whatever because how are we gonna do that?"

According to Riley's introductory note, which he posted on Facebook, about 1 million activists will stick around DC after the march in a nonviolent attempt to shut the city down. According to the the document, the real work will occur after the transfer of power: "Those with the principles of a West, Cruz, Lee, DeMint, Paul, Gov Walker, Sessions, Gowdy, Jordan, Issa, will comprise a tribunal and assume positions of authority to convene investigations (my em), recommend appropriate charges against politicians and government employees to the new U.S. Attorney General appointed by the new President."
...

For Riley & Co., the stakes couldn't be higher. "My knees will not touch the surface as a result of some piss ant occupant of the White House or a corrupt legislator, or outside element," Riley wrote. "I will fall to my death standing if necessary."

Says the outside element. I wish him well falling to his death. More.

Mark your calendars. I do not recommend laying in extra popcorn. It'll go stale while you're waiting for something to happen. Heh.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

U.S. Reassures Persian Gulf Allies
Reminds them of our consistent support of repressive monarchies.

Analysis: Ukraine Ideologically Split Down Middle
Half capitalist lapdogs, half Soviet apologists.

Arizona Passes Bill Allowing Businesses to Refuse Service to Gays
Rejects more moderate measure allowing shoddy service.

New Georgia License Plate
Features Confederate Flag
For drivers who prefer not to be
pulled over by police.

They love being losers.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

Uploaded on Jan 21, 2012
Emmylou Harris, an American singer-songwriter and musician sings 'To Daddy' to Johnny Hallyday, France's favourite rocker, in Nashville in 1984.

Thanks to iMariola.

An Open Letter to Ben Gozzi

Political Garbage Chute

Go Get Your Big, Red Rubber Shoes, Bozo

You’re a failure, Mr. Issa. If your job is to find out what’s broken or wasteful in our government so that we can fix it, you have failed in truly comical proportions. Which brings me to why I write this letter. You see, I think I have a proposal for you that is mutually beneficially for all of us — we the American people and you, the American dumb ass. Apparently there’s a growing need within this country — a labor pool that is shrinking and I think you’re the man to fill it.

There’s a real, honest-to-God clown shortage in America, Rep. Issa, and who better to lead the clowning community in this country to a new day than the GOP’s clown prince himself? You’ve pretty much been spending the last five years honing your comedic timing and inane banter, both things that clowns really excel at. And when it comes to big, flashy gags that are meant to keep the masses entertained but that always wind up blowing up in your face, no one can top you spectacular crashes. You’ve all but perfected the Congressional Pratfall. That’s where you puff up your chest, say some really incendiary things, and then have them all blow back in your face when pesky things like “facts” or “truth” trip you up.
...

You’ve been the GOP’s chief bozo since taking over the oversight committee and promising to expose the Obama administration as the “most corrupt administration” — your words, not mine — in history. You’ve packed your hearing rooms with fellow clowns Louie Gohmert of Texas, Mike Rodgers of Alabama, and Trent Franks of Arizona. I even have your clown name picked out, Darrell — Ben Gozzi the Clown. Bozo was already taken, or you’d have just been handed that one. But I think Ben Gozzi suits you best.

Much more.

Issa wasn't a very good car thief or arsonist and he's a terrible congressman and an embarrassment to us reality-based Californios.

Vultures And Vote Rustlers

Truthout Interviews Greg Palast on the Koch Brothers and Chris Christie

Investigative reporter and Truthout contributor, Greg Palast, has spent most of his career exposing the corrupting effects of money and politics in many hard-hitting pieces. Greg is gifted in his ability to connect the dots between billionaires and politicians by following the money. In the Citizens United era, it can be more difficult to follow the money because of the anonymity 501(c)(4) Super PACs afford their donors. But that hasn't stopped Greg, who shares with me some of what he has uncovered in his Truthout article, "Christie and Koch in Cahoots? It's Time to Subpoena the Committee for Our Children's Future."

A little long, but gives a good insight on where democracy went.

Thanks to Ted Asregadoo.

Also see:

How Dark Money Flows Through the Koch Network

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

U.S. Finishes Ahead of Haiti, 133 Other Countries in Annual Press Freedom Index
Only Finland, Netherlands, Norway, Luxembourg, Andorra, Liechtenstein, Denmark, Iceland, New Zealand, Sweden, Estonia, Austria, Czech Republic, Germany, Switzerland, Ireland, Jamaica, Canada, Poland, Slovakia, Costa Rica, Namibia, Belgium, Cape Verde, Cyprus, Uruguay, Ghana, Australia, Belize, Portugal, Suriname, Lithuania, United Kingdom, Slovenia, Spain, Antigua and Barbuda, Latvia, El Salvador, France, Samoa, Botswana, South Africa, Trinidad and Tobago, Papua New Guinea and Romania finished ahead of us.

Sochi: Putin Refuses to Turn Down Olympic Flame
Giant torch being blamed for record temperatures, slushy snow, soft ice, lackluster performances.

Billionaire Tom Perkins: Rich Should Be Given More Votes
Instead of having to spend their own money to buy them.

1 in 4 Americans Doesn't Know Earth Circles Sun
1 in 6 thinks babies delivered by storks.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

Whole set! Late '70s.

Emmylou Harris & the original Hot Band live on stage in Holland

Thanks to Larry Musicman.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

PUTIN WELCOMES WORLD TO SOCHI OLYMPICS
Says security not a problem.

In Future War, Justice Scalia Doesn't Rule Out Internment Camps
For people who look like liberals, say.

Heh. Fat Tony's one administration late. It's the RWNJs that are worried during this one.

NASA: Kepler-413b Binary System Has Planet Where Seasons Change Almost Daily
Scientists hope to simulate planet's conditions by spending two weeks in Chicago.

Spreadsheet Listing 40 Top Koch Donors Mistakenly Left Behind by Guest at Seminar
In brief: don't eat Papa John pizza or buy Jockey underwear.

Headline Il Due and Question of the Day

R.I.P. Republican credibility: Why their latest blatant lies show they’ve given up

Why don't they just STFU and die already?

Headline and Sub Head of the Day

Because too much to quote.

No, Liberals Don't Control the Democratic Party

The left may have more clout than it once did, but commentators shouldn't mistake progressives for the Democrats' equivalent of the Tea Party.

Personally, I'm more anti-right-wing than liberal. If we get rid of the fringe right we'll be OK.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

I love this version.

Published on Mar 9, 2013
From Emmylou Harris and Willie Nelson comes this sensitive, beautiful song "Gulf Coast Highway" written by Nanci Griffith, Danny Flowers, and James Hooker. It appeared on Emmylou's Duets album released by Reprise on July 24, 1990 and available on CD.

Thanks to catman916.

"Lawless!"

Don't hold back, Old Fart! Come outta yer shell and say what you really mean. Heh.

Thanks to oldfartrants.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

OLYMPICS: SECURITY TIGHT AS GAMES BEGIN

Biathlon competitors told to fire at anyone acting suspiciously.

More Reports of Cheating, Drugs Among Nuclear Missile Corps
Experts: we're one bad acid trip away from Dr. Strangelove.

New Hampshire Poll: Romney Republican Frontrunner
Edges out John McCain, Bob Dole.

Probably shoulda warned ya about that one. My bad. Heh.

Hundreds Sickened on Cruise Ship
CDC still trying to identify source of illness on Royal Caribbean's Salmonella Islands Tour.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

From Later With Jools Holland, 1995

Published on Jan 27, 2014
BBC2, London, 26 November 1995.
RTP2 - Portuguese Public Televison, Lisbon.

Subtitled for your convenience.

Thanks to Jose Neves.

"Take Orders And Eat Crap"

Christian conservatives constantly skew facts to conform to their ideologies. And they get away with it because the people who listen to them are sheep who never learned skills in critical thinking. They just believe what they're told in their churches and on Fox News.
...

So where are all the verses where Jesus endorses the bullshit conservatives are trying to sell today?

They're in the Bible they haven't read.

Thanks to oldfartrants.

Quote of the Day

From "The Republican Conspiracy Has Worked":

A flurry of executive orders is obviously better than nothing, but it’s hardly the kind of bold change this country needs to undo the destruction caused by thirty-three years of Reaganomics.

No, it's not. Please read the rest.

The myth of the Christian conservative

If it's Wednesday it must be Morford going on about phony christians.

I often wonder, given sufficient whisky and irony and time: Has there ever been a more delightfully inept, wince-inducing oxymoron in the tortured American lexicon than “conservative Christian?”

Speaking of the DeVos clan:

From Reagan to Bush 41, Bush 43 to Mitt, union-busting to anti-choicism, antediluvian “family values” advocacy to pro-corporate think tanks, Blackwater to the unutterably silly Left Behind books, this is the kind of power-hungry billionaire clan that has its tentacles in every right-wing movement, cause and devious conservative ploy since the early ‘60s.
...

Ah, Christians. Always the last to understand irony.

I ponder: What must that be like? To believe you are something that you so very much are not? To hold a set of values that, in truth, have nothing whatsoever to do with the real source that supposedly inspires and defines it?

It’s a severe, almost laughable chasm between what Republicans define as “Christian conservative” values – isolationism, protectionism, love of fireams, suppression of alternative viewpoints, sexual dread, belief in strict gender roles and family structures, institution-as-guardian, and so on – and the teachings of the actual, messy historical Jesus who taught, well, the exact opposite.

Reading this piece, it struck me again, for the 1,000th time: As far as we can tell and if he actually existed, Jesus was a shaman. A seer. A radical. A wild and divinely possessed trickster and spiritual pathfinder. What’s more, it’s possible that he was frequently stoned. Hallucinating. Hey, lots of them were. Wouldn’t you be? Psychoactive plants have been used to commune with sacred realms since cavemen scribbled trippy hieroglyphs on the wall by moonlight. It’s just what gurus, mystics and saviors do.

Yes, yes we do. Heh.

So now it begins to make more sense. While conservative Christians of the DeVos variety aggressively despise everything the real Jesus stood for – nonviolence, aiding the poor, ministering to the sick, equal rights, spiritual autonomy, the anointing of lots of trippy holy oil to commune with sacred realms – they very much value what came next: the institutionalized church and all its megalomaniacal, sociopolitical success, perhaps the greatest, most oppressive corporation/political operation of all time. The GOP can only dream.

Well said, young Mark, but you left out "medieval criminal consortium".

El Rude-o on the SOTU

If You're Not Blaming the GOP for the Crappy State of the Union, You're Lying:
...

We never got to see what an Obama presidency would be like because Republicans decided that there wouldn't be an Obama presidency.

One great experiment of the Obama administration, so far, was to attempt to reel the imperial presidency back in (yeah, we're leaving surveillance off the table here). It was to try to get Congress to do its fucking job. But Republicans changed the rules of the game on Obama. If they had been playing baseball, they'd have said, "Okay, we demand four outs, five strikes, and no foul balls, just for us." And Obama would have said, "Sure. Now can we play?" And they would have said, "And you have to play without shoes and gloves." And Obama would have said, "Sure. Can we start the game?" And they would have said, "And each of us gets to fuck your wife in the ass on the pitcher's mound while you watch." And when Obama said, "No, that's bullshit," they'd've said, "Why don't you want to play baseball?"

The shame is that Obama didn't say, early in his first term, "Fuck off. I'm heading to the batting cages." Now that he's announced he's finally going to use executive authority more broadly, and he's used it less than any president in the last century, the GOP is whining that Obama is doing something unconstitutional. These would be the same Republicans who lapped up President Bush's executive orders and signing statements like jizz-gobblers at a jack-off-a-thon.

Everyone is offering their useless suggestions for "What the President Should Say Tonight." So let the Rude Pundit play Fantasy SOTU. What Obama oughta say to the United States is "Vote these Republican motherfuckers out of here. They have hurt the nation and will continue to do so. You know the deal. You reelected me to get shit done. That ain't gonna happen until these assholes who keep hurting the poor and hungry are fuckin' gone. It's up to you, America. 2014 could be the year you make this a sane country again. You gotta put a hurt on the GOP. Let's hurt them until Ted Cruz is begging to kiss my black ass."

Fuckin' A.

Headline of the Day

Pete Seeger Outlasted the Bastards

So long, Pete. You made a difference.

Stop Beating A Dead FOX

Daddy Frank's latest feature.

The conservative news channel’s only real power is in riling up liberals, who by this point should know better.

The most interesting news about Fox News is that for some years now it has been damaging the right far more than the left. As a pair of political analysts wrote at Reuters last year, “When the mainstream media reigned supreme, between 1952 and 1988, Republicans won seven out of the ten presidential elections,” but since 1992, when “conservative media began to flourish” (first with Rush Limbaugh’s ascendancy, then with Fox), Democrats have won the popular vote five out of six times. You’d think they’d be well advised to leave Fox News to its own devices so that it can continue to shoot its own party in the foot.
...

[...] With a median viewer age now at 68 according to Nielsen data through mid-January (compared with 60 for MSNBC and CNN, and 62 to 64 for the broadcast networks), Fox is in essence a retirement community.

The million or so viewers who remain fiercely loyal to the network are not, for the most part, and as some liberals still imagine, naïve swing voters who stumble onto Fox News under the delusion it’s a bona fide news channel and then are brainwashed by Ailes’s talking points into becoming climate-change deniers. They arrive at the channel as proud, self-selected citizens of Fox Nation and are unlikely to defect from the channel or its politics until death do them part. (As Sherman writes, “Ailes’s audience seldom watches anything” on television but Fox News.) Hard as it may be to fathom, Fox Nation is even more monochromatically white than the GOP is, let alone the American nation. Two percent of Mitt Romney’s voters were black. According to new Nielsen data, only 1.1 percent of Fox News’s prime-time viewership is (as opposed to 25 percent for MSNBC, 14 percent for CNN, and an average of roughly 12 percent for the three broadcast networks’ evening news programs).

The Fox News membership is more than happy to be cocooned in an echo chamber where its own hopes and fears will be reinforced by other old white “people like us.” [...]

I'm 68 and white and I don't watch FOXNoise. I see enough clips from it on the channels I do watch that I don't have to. Heh.

Rather than waste time bemoaning Fox’s bogus journalism, liberals should encourage it. The more that Fox News viewers are duped into believing that the misinformation they are fed by Ailes is fair and balanced, the more easily they can be ambushed by reality as they were on Election Night 2012.

My sentiments exactly. As we used to say (probably still do) in the Corps, "Ambush is murder and murder is fun."

Fox News’s theoretical political power is further compromised by the internal crisis it shares with the GOP: its inability to navigate the conflict between the party Establishment and the radical base that is dividing the conservative ranks. The network has veered all over the place to try to placate both camps, only to end up wounded in the crossfire.

Perfect! When your enemies are shooting at each other and catching their propagandista in the middle and you don't have to do a thing, it's a "couch and popcorn" ambush. The best kind! More butter, please!

Paradoxically enough, the most powerful right-wing movement in the country, the insurgency in the Republican grassroots, loathes the Boehner-Christie-Rove-centric Fox News nearly as much as the left does.

Also paradoxically, this disproves the old adage that "the enemy of my enemy is my friend".

Please go read this.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

Pentagon Considers Replacing Thousands of Troops With Robots
Soldiers would be retrained as lobbyists.

Study: Chinese Factories Cause Nearly 25% of California's Pollution
And almost a quarter of its gorgeous sunsets.

JP Morgan's Dimon Receives 74% Raise to $20 Million a Year
Bank's board of directors rewards him for keeping them out of jail.

NFL May Drop Extra Point, Allow Pot to Treat Concussions
According to new league rules voted on by fans.

Headline of the Day

Rush Limbaugh: Republicans Are Not Criminals. Democrats Make Them Look That Way

By telling the truth about them.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

Thanks to 1000Magicians, UK.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

Scientists See East Coast at Risk as Seas Rise
However, if you live on the fourth floor or higher, you should be good until 2114.

Surgeon General Report: Cigarettes More Dangerous Than Previously Thought
Urges smokers switch to marijuana immediately.

Yes, the Prison Industrial Complex needs you healthy to cut down on healthcare cost while you're incarcerated for smoking marijuana.

Amazon Patents “Anticipatory Shipping” That Will Ship Items Before They've Been Ordered
Patent pending on “anticipatory billing” that bills you for something you didn't order, don't want and can't return.

Why do I have no trouble believing this?

Report: Smart Appliances Hacked to Send Computer Viruses
Warning: don't answer any emails from your toaster.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

Thanks to ElskeW1.

Note to Conservatives and the Media:

Most of Us Still Don't Give a Shit About Benghazi:

El Rude-o, links at site.

Dear, sweet Republicans and Fox "news," truly, really, speaking for the vast majority of the nation that doesn't watch Bill O'Reilly after dinner or listen to Rush Limbaugh while driving or have Glenn Beck on in the background while boning a blow-up doll, we don't give a happy monkey fuck about Benghazi. Beyond "Man, that was a bad thing that happened. Let's try to stop it from happening again," there is nothing there. No cover-up. No one had any heads up. There were a few tragic errors in judgment on security that, had they not been made, might have prevented shit from going south. That's it. If you read the actual Senate intelligence Committee report, what comes through is the dude who fucked up a great deal on boosting security was Ambassador Chris Stevens, who died in the attack on the consulate. He was asked repeatedly if he needed more military in Benghazi, and he declined. Sorry if that fucks up the fun narrative, but truth will do that every time.

Desperately trying to damage Hillary Clinton pre-2016, especially now that Macy's balloon Chris Christie has been punctured, conservatives are out in force, trying to pin the blame for the attack on Clinton, even though the report does nothing of the sort. Besides the completely nonsensical comparison between Christie's bridge problem and Benghazi, we have every other Republican with presidential ambitions jumping in to try to show their conspiracy-theory cred to the nutzoids in the base. Rubio promised more hearings. The always-high Rand Paul slurred something incomprehensible. Ted Cruz said obvious Ted Cruz-like shit.

Look, unless you've got evidence of a deliberate cover-up, unless you've got video of Hillary Clinton personally slitting Stevens' throat while Barack Obama fucks his ass as al-Qaeda militants ululate and fire their rifles into the air in praise, the vast majority of us in the United States, the ones who aren't the delusional GOP primary voters, simply don't care.

But, hell, that never stopped the GOP before.

Normally I'd try and think up some clever comment but I think Rude just about covered it.

The Republicans' Obamacare Hypocrisy: A Mystery Solved

Paul Krugman

And here's the thing: Republicans don't want to help the unfortunate. They'll propound health-care ideas that will, they claim, help those with pre-existing conditions and so on - but those aren't really proposals. They're diversionary tactics designed to stall real health reform. Hence the rage of the right.

Here they were, with a whole raft of ideas they could throw out like chaff to confuse enemy radar, to divert and confuse any attempt to actually provide insurance to the uninsured. And those dastardly Democrats have gone ahead and actually incorporated those ideas into real reform.

Shorter: If you think government can't do anything substantial, then you'd better make damn sure it can't, for when it does it makes you look like an idiot or a liar. Both of which the Repugs are.

Ouote of the Day

I'm not too interested in "Bridgegazi" as other than a "popcorn - extra butter!" moment. Anything that keeps the ostensibly "sane" Repug out of the '16 Presidential race is a GOOD thing. If the crazies are the only ones they can field, we're safe.

That said, the Repugs are putting a double-reverse spin on the whole deal that I find hilarious. From a pretty good piece called "Christie apologists hit rock bottom: Why the right’s lame, new defense is doomed to fail":

Conservatives can (and do) whine that the problem here is media bias — that the media largely ignored IRS and Benghazi then swarmed over the Christie story because he’s a Republican. The scientific term for this argument is “bullshit.”

"Bullshit" is the all-encompassing scientific term for everything else the Repugs do as well.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

Britain to Introduce Plastic Money in 2016
In 2017: brightly colored beads.

List Whittled Down to 1000 Eligible Applicants for One-Way Trip to Mars
Eliminated: old, infirm, anyone who plays the banjo, harmonica or accordion.

??? ~ News Quiz ~ ???

The Texas commission in charge of reining in predatory lenders is headed by a top executive of:

A ) an oil company
B ) a textile company
C ) a predatory lender

Hint: remember, this is Texas.

Target Now Says 110 Million Accounts Hacked
As a result, it could take weeks before hackers start stealing from you.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

Emmylou Harris ~ Going Back To Harlan

Thanks to elp1978.

Bridgeghazi

There's been so much about poor innocent victim Secaucus Fats and his fucked up lane closure that I've been hesitant to post anything because it's old news about the time I hit "publish". Heh. Old Fart's got a good take on it. I wanta be like him when I grow up!

Thanks to oldfartrants.

NSA Insiders Reveal What Went Wrong

A 'recommended read' at Consortiumnews.com

In a memo to President Obama, former National Security Agency insiders explain how NSA leaders botched intelligence collection and analysis before 9/11, covered up the mistakes, and violated the constitutional rights of the American people, all while wasting billions of dollars and misleading the public.

The sadder reality, Mr. President, is that NSA itself had enough information to prevent 9/11, but chose to sit on it rather than share it with the FBI or CIA. We know; we were there. We were witness to the many bureaucratic indignities that made NSA at least as culpable for pre-9/11 failures as are other U.S. intelligence agencies.
...

Pre-9/11 Intelligence

“That’s where I found the pre- and post-9/11 intelligence from NSA monitoring of some of the hijackers as they planned the attacks of 9/11 had not been shared outside NSA. This includes critical pre-9/11 intelligence on al-Qaeda, even though it had been worked on by NSA analysts. I learned, for example, that in early 2001 NSA had produced a critical long-term analytic report unraveling the entire heart of al-Qaeda and associated movements. That report also was not disseminated outside of NSA.

“Make no mistake. That data and the analytic report could have, should have prevented 9/11.

“Top NSA management knew that. They knew that I knew that. I was immediately shut down. In spring 2002, the remnants of THINTHREAD were unceremoniously put on the shelf in NSA’s ‘Indiana Jones’ data warehouse, never to be seen again.
...

“Against this background, it is difficult to listen to the manufactured claim so frequently heard these days to the effect that, had bulk collection been operational before 9/11, it would have prevented the 9/11 attacks. The mantra is convenient for those defending NSA overreach; it is also bogus.

“It masks the reality that, as indicated above, NSA had already collected highly significant intelligence on the hijackers themselves but did not disseminate it outside of NSA before the attacks. At best, the claim about bulk collection is one part wishful thinking and nine parts red herring.

“Not only does it exaggerate the efficacy of a collection method with zero demonstrated successes to date, but it also blows smoke in the eyes of those genuinely interested in knowing what role NSA played, or failed to play, in the months and weeks before 9/11. Worse still, this specious claim amounts to a cruel hoax on the thousands who died on 9/11, and the hundreds of thousands who died when Bush/Cheney used the attacks as a pretext to invade Iraq.”

Former Vice President Dick Cheney is widely reported to have been principally responsible for suborning then-NSA Director Michael Hayden into violating what had formerly been the “First Commandment” at NSA – “Thou Shalt Not Eavesdrop on Americans Without a Court Warrant.” So it is no surprise to see Cheney come out of the woodwork and renew his contribution toward giving dishonesty a bad name.
...

It should now be clear, for those who can handle the truth, that the problems at NSA run deep – in terms of effectiveness, integrity and respect for the Constitution. By withholding information and exploiting secrecy, NSA’s leaders past and present have pulled off an unparalleled coup in concealing the sad reality that NSA could have prevented 9/11 and didn’t. And Schadenfreude chortling by leaders at the top regarding the demonstrated bureaucratic advantages and success of such dishonesty has a tendency to be heard down through the ranks, corrupting even dedicated workers.

Which brings us to Snowden. I'm glad he blew the whistle, but he's no hero. Neither is he a villain except to the powers that be whom he blew the whistle on.

He is smart enough to have ran and hid in more or less plain view of the media while all the info got swirled around and people noticed. If he'da stayed in the U.S. he'da been buried under a jail somewhere along with all the information.

At least the warrantless spying is poking its way out into the open, along with the uselessness and waste of the program.

And we need to lock up all the unicorns so Cheney can't drink their blood and will die.

Oh, the irony...

The guys at Ironic Times were late yesterday.

Comments by Duck Dynasty Patriarch Phil Robertson Divide Nation
On one side, those who hate homosexuals, blacks, immigrants, Jews, anyone not like themselves; on other side, those who don't.

Poll: One Third of Americans Don't Believe in Evolution
Do believe in Hell, which is where you wind up if you believe in evolution.

Brazil in Race With Poor Planning, Criminal Negligence, Widespread Corruption, to Complete Stadiums in Time for World Cup
Poor planning, criminal negligence, widespread corruption favored to win.

Liz Pulls Out

Lotsa articles about this today, but TBogg's is the snarkiest. Don't miss!

But it seems that Liz recently sat down with her pollsters who aggregated, weighted, and indexed a collection of statewide polls in Wyoming using formulas which accounted for economic status, ethnicity, party identification and past voting history and concluded that, as her head pollster explained to her: “nobody likes you, everybody hates you, they think you should eat some worms..” and so now Liz is probably going to pull out just like her dad didn’t do when he really really needed that fifth deferment.
...

Needless to say, I will miss watching Liz Cheney become more and more shrill and homicidal as her campaign continued to implode until eventually she would lose it on national TV (I had: ‘shanks an uppity reporter’ in my office pool). But now she will just pack up her carpetbags and sadly head back to Virginia where she’ll probably sit around the house in sweats all day drinking pitchers of blood orange jalapeno margaritas and screaming at Ellen on the teevee because it’s all the lesbian’s [Mary Cheney's] fault and now America is going to die or something…

Princess Snarlyface, we hardly knew ye…

We knew her well enough. Good fucking riddance.

Liquid Alert! Headline of the Day

Legislator Complains About Being Left Off List of 2013’s Top Nutjobs

Hey, a Top 10's a Top 10, right?

Headline of the Day +

As Obamacare Sign-Ups Surge, So Does Conservative Rage

First and last lines:

It is amazing to witness the sheer depths of rage, denial and disgust many people experience as they see millions of people gaining access to affordable health care for the first time.
...

These are the numbers. Lots of people have partisan or ideological or in many cases deeply emotional needs not to believe them. But these are the numbers.

Fuck conservatives. I hope their goddam heads explode. Perhaps that's covered under the insurance they don't like.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

You know the songs.

Thanks to Larry Privat.

Start The New Year Off Right...

...and do yourself a favor. Read this heartwarming article by Matt Taibbi!

On Christmas, Republicans Quietly Declare War on Themselves
...

The news came in the Wall Street Journal, where the Chamber of Commerce disclosed that it will be teaming up with Republican establishment leaders to spend $50 million in an effort to stem the tide of “fools” who have overwhelmed Republican ballots in recent seasons. Check out the language Chamber strategist Scott Reed used in announcing the new campaign:

Our No. 1 focus is to make sure, when it comes to the Senate, that we have no loser candidates… That will be our mantra: No fools on our ticket.

...

It’s been a transparent effort to reassure industry donors that the party's future isn't a bottomless pit of brainless Bachmanns and Cruzes and Santorums, all convinced our Harvard-educated president is a sleeper-cell Arab and that Satan is a literal being intent on conquering Nebraska with U.N. troops.

Good fuckin' luck. The phrase "shoveling shit against the tide" comes to mind. Heh.

The Chamber's announcement was met with howls of outrage from Tea Party-friendly voices, who naturally took immediate offense to the prospect of boycotting "fools" from the political process.

Sorry. I guess I should have given a "liquid alert". Well, the 'baggers seem to have a handle on who their candidates are!

The money shot:

But this sudden decision by the party’s Washington establishment to reverse course and blame their failures on "fools" out there in the heartland is a joke. If you spend a decade treating your constituents like morons, you can’t point the finger at them when your party gets a reputation for being stupid.

You’re going to make George "Is our children learning?" Bush the face of your party for eight years and then turn around and call your voters stupid? Jesus. No wonder they decided to make the move during Christmas.

Repugs do seem to do better when no one's watching...

Much more. Enjoy.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times. Go see this one. Heh.

China Rejects 546,000 Tons of U.S. Grain Because It Contains Genetically Modified Material
Really? China?

Real Estate Agents Using Drones to Show Clients Houses, Neighborhoods
Can hover inside homes, peruse owners' financial papers, determine how desperate they are to sell.

Obama Calls Broccoli His Favorite Food
After meeting with his favorite person, John Boehner.

Heh.

Obama, on Vacation in Hawaii,
Attends “Choom Gang” Reunion
Michelle says she hasn't seen him in days.

Heh. Takes days to get to Colorado for OTC ganja. And remember to go back...

Polar Opposites

As a lifelong Californio I'm down wid being the polar opposite of Texass. Interesting read in WaPo.

Headline:

Texas, California embody red-blue divide

Last line:

More than any other pair of states, they stand as proxies for the national debate about the size and shape of government and which direction a divided America should go in the future.

Comments:

Here is the problem with moving to Texas,,, You would have to live there.
...

I have visited Bakersfield in the '50's ... there was a sign on the front of a store stating No CHINESE, BLACKS OR INDIANS, DOGS ARE WELCOME ... and I would still take Bakersfield over Texass ...

Heh. Much more.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

Emmylou on the Nanci Griffith song from 1992

Thanks to 1000Magicians, UK.

Merry Christmas

l-r Gordon & Maggie, Santa & Roxie, Mrs. G. (Diane)

Click to emhugen!

Photo courtesy of the Nevada Humane Society in Reno for a dirt cheap $5 donation. Santa was mandatory, no choice of colors. I broke out a brand new flannel shirt just for you, Brain readers.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

NORTH KOREA SENDS THREATENING FAX TO SOUTH KOREA
Follow-up to last week's threatening singing telegram.

Ted Cruz's Coloring Book No. 1 Among All Coloring Books on Amazon
If presidential election were held today, Cruz would beat SpongeBob.

Our loss. SpongeBob would be a better President.

Pastor Who Kept Predicting Rapture Dies
They found his clothes right where he'd been standing.

Google Buys Company That Makes Military Robots
When they start buying aircraft carriers it's time to worry.

Too late:

Google barge mystery unfurled

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

Published on Dec 13, 2013
Emmylou Harris,
"Mister Sandman".
Kultnacht, ZDF German TV, 1981.

Thanks to JadeDiscoHD.

Please forgive me...

..for the light-to-none blogging. There ain't much poppin' my cork lately. I guess I've grown kinda numb to all the Repug outrage which has turned into sort of a constant low hum like the machinery noise on a ship. Without it, it would be quiet .... too quiet, and then I'd be worried. Heh. I'm sure this will change so please check in once in a while.

Won’t you please help Liz Cheney save America from evil liberal John McCain?

This is just for fun. TBogg:

In our continuing series on the Dick Dynasty that is la famiglia Cheney we are getting fan-mail from the floundering campaign of Elizabeth “Liz, Not Lez” Cheney whom you may know as Daddy’s Little Deferment or, if you’ve seen her on the teevee machine: Princess Snarlyface. In order to defeat left-wing anarchist Mike Enzi (whose last name sounds suspiciously foreign and, in fact, contains important letters that you would need to spell out the last name of Bartolomeo Vanzetti. Coincidence? Doubtful.) Liz needs you to send her your Christmas Club money before you blow it on presents and food for the kids. (Helpful hint from McDonalds: Happy Meals contain both a toy and “food”, so you’re covered). What is Liz Cheney going to do with this money? I’m glad you asked because now I have something to do with this Very Important email that LIZ CHENEY PERSONALLY SENT TO ME because we are BFF’s even though she blocks me on Twitter which is probably an oversight or something and we will undoubtedly laugh and laugh about it someday.
...

As you can see my friend Liz is under attack from “a shadowy, out-of-state Super PAC” which has launched “a dishonest smear campaign to distort my her record” and by “shadowy out-of-state Super PAC” she means “communist homosexual foreigners” which is also just her nice way of saying “people from New York City”. And these same people are like the ones who tried to elect evil secret-liberal John McCain who Manchurian-candidated his way onto the 2008 GOP ticket and then blew the whole campaign up by picking Sarah Palin as his running mate which reminded people in America that our national elections were established for the purpose of maintaining an orderly transition of power and not as a murder/suicide pact in an abandoned car parked behind a Circle K (also knows as a “Wasilla Divorce”) (my em). I mean, c’mon, McCain had to find some way to lose to a black guy. So, yeah, genius move. Well played, Johnny Mac. Not that Liz Cheney didn’t think something was up at the time.

But that was then and this is now, and these carpetbagging donors are trying to prevent carpetbagging Liz Cheney from claiming her rightful throne as the Cowboy Queen of Wyoming and she needs people like you and me who do not live in her state to give her money because when we give her our out-of-state money it is totally different because shut up. [...]
...

I am SO DISAPPOINTED because I have always wanted to meet undead-thing Dick Cheney and get to poke his unnaturally cool waxy skin and watch and see if floral arrangements wilt and die in his wake like so many Iraqi orphans. Wait til Liz hears my e-vite never showed. She’ll be mortified. I bet she sends me a nice hand-written note of apology.

And then we’ll laugh and laugh about it someday…

I...I...I have nothing to add!

Headline of the Day

New Obama Adviser Calls House Republicans A 'Cult Worthy Of Jonestown'

Quit screwin' around and get to drinkin' the "special recipe" Kool-aid, willya?

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

FAKE SIGN LANGUAGE INTERPRETER FROM MANDELA MEMORIAL HIRED BY OAKLAND ATHLETICS
As their third base coach.

House Republicans Criticize Iran Deal
Fear possible outbreak of peace.

And the resultant loss of profit to their major donors.

World's Largest Ship Launches
Owned by Shell, it will transport vast amounts of oil from autocrats to plutocrats.

With Rules Changes, Your Odds of Winning the Lottery Sink from 1 in 176 Million to 1 in 259 Million
You have a better chance of being struck by lightning while being bitten by a shark.

Odds slightly worse if you don't buy a ticket.

How George W. Bush failed the GOP

How didn't he? And I'm glad he did. NOT glad for what he did.

Rachel Maddow

In the eight years of the George W. Bush administration, no hearty saplings were ever able to take root in the shade of that big tree. No one expected Vice President Dick Cheney to ever be a contender for the presidency — part of his effectiveness was his willingness to say and do very unpopular things. When he snapped at ABC’s Martha Raddatz, “So?” as she questioned him about public disapproval of the Iraq war, he wrote the perfect epitaph for his vice presidency.
...

The unpopular presidency of George W. Bush has proved to be a blackball on the résumés of a generation of Republican leaders. Maybe Cheney’s daughter Liz will break the pattern next year with a successful Senate bid in Wyoming, but if you made it through that sentence without spitting coffee out your nose, you’re in rare company.

The fascinating turmoil in the Republican Party since 2008 is not just a personnel problem — it’s also ideological. If you were putting together a legacy to inspire the next generation of conservatives, you wouldn’t pick the Bush administration’s trailing ends of land wars, budget deficits, torture, a crusade against gay rights and a financial collapse to rival the Great Depression. The isolationism and libertarian iconography of the Ron Paul wing of the party really does appeal to young people more than Bush-Cheney Republicanism. Social conservatives really do feel backed into a corner and ready to fight against a country that is turning against them faster than most pollsters can keep up. There really is something ripe for renewal in Republicans’ self-conception as fiscal conservatives, when the clear pattern is that budget deficits grow under Republicans and shrink under Democrats. The Republican Party is a churning swirl of conflicting ideological currents, and that’s going to take some time to work out.

But part of the reason it may be taking so long already is those lost years: the period from 2000 to 2008 that effectively obviated the authority and the leadership potential of all of Washington’s Republican elites. The George W. Bush administration didn’t just cast too much shade on the next generation of leadership — it also apparently poisoned the ground.

It poisoned the whole fucking nation and it will take decades, if not generations, to repair itself.

Inside the White House, the task of growing one’s own successors must seem like one of the less pressing items on the president’s long daily to-do list. But the previous administration’s trail of scorched earth and exiles has curtailed the prospects for the Republican Party and governing conservatism more profoundly than almost anything that administration pursued in terms of policy. It is a cautionary tale that Democrats and the Obama White House should heed sooner rather than later. Grow your successors, nurture your legacy.

Bush's failures were the culmination of failed Repug policies that started under Nixon, accelerated under Reagan, and hit overdrive under Bush, who drove us into the ditch at top speed. We probably would have been OK after 9/11 were it not for his weakness to go along with Cheney's criminal Iraq war. The things he did as the most incompetent President in our history were terrible to be sure, but it put an end forever to Turdblossom's "permanent Republican majority" and for that small silver lining we should be thankful.

And for this: the next Repug President hasn't been born yet.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

From Prague concert

Thanks to 1000Magicians, UK.

The War On Xmas Just For Fun

The Daily Show takes FOXNoise's bottle blondes to the cleaners. Heh.

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook

The Wars On Xmas And The Pope

Pretty entertaining take on this sheer right-wing idiocy from The Everlasting GOP Stoppers.

Limbaugh took out his dog whistle, tuned it, and patiently whistled to the rabble of dittoheads, “Here’s the deal. The Reagan coalition used poor white Christians to vote for rich, white libertarians. We scared up their votes using phony culture war outrage so that we could get rich capitalists into office to shred the New Deal and suck all the wealth up to the top. Then we wanted government welfare for the richest and their largest corporations, paid for by the poor and middle class. It took 30 years, but we’ve finally done it, and we’re not about to turn back now. This Pope is a serious threat to the American right, because the Church naturally splits the uprights between America’s social conservatives and economic liberals. For decades, the Catholic Church has been focusing on social conservatism. If this Pope switches to focusing on economic liberalism, as Jesus did, and if this becomes a new norm for the Church, it could eventually siphon off our voters. Even a small percentage of Christian voters flipped from the baloney culture war to the very real class war could devastate the GOP. And if this Catholic ethos were to seep into American evangelical churches, the Republican Party would go the way of the Whig Party. That is why we are desperately smearing him.”

The Tea Partiers clutched crosses and guns to their chests and nodded solemnly as their patriotic Confederate flags flapped in the nippy December breeze.

Just ... go.

Obama and the harsh reality check

If it's Thursday, yesterday must have been Morford on Obama.

You want the good news, or the wincingly bleak news that makes you shudder and sigh and wish you didn’t have such sad dreams? You want a bit of both? You should probably hear a bit of both.

Because here’s the thing: He did more or less what he said he was going to do – so far, anyway – which was to end Bush’s devastatingly stupid war(s), re-establish America as a respectable force in world affairs, orate in complete sentences so as not embarrass the nation on the international stage at every turn, shift the race discussion to the next level, enact at least some modest education reform, protect women’s rights, defend the middle class, slap back the GOP’s toxic plot to rule American politics for the next 75 years, and usher in an impossibly variegated, increasingly messy era of barely controlled, women-empowered, multicultural chaos in which old, fear-soaked white men no longer control every election, industry, media, cultural discussion, power source and hunk of propaganda in the nation.
...

I will never be so naive or cynical to say it doesn’t matter which party is in office (God forbid we were in a McCain or Romney presidency right now) (my em), but step back far enough and it’s more of a frothy sea of inbred powerbrokers than ever, and Obama, despite all hopes to the contrary, stands right at the helm of the ship.

Not that he necessarily wants to be there. This is easily the most acidic, obstructionist GOP in a generation, a mean-spirited, leprous party full of barely veiled racists and Tea Party wing-nuts willing to sacrifice any core value, constituent, legal precedent, national monument or social service just to undermine Obama and block him from enacting even the most basic functions and services. This appears to be the one over-arcing rule: The smart black guy can never win. No. Matter. What.

It’s true, isn’t it? America has never seen a minority party so openly hateful of a sitting president, one who is at once far more intelligent and articulate than them, but somehow, infuriatingly, far less willing/able to use that intelligence to beat them back like a pack of gun-toting monkeys. Strange.

All of which is to say: What to make of the guy, really?

More.

I'm still down wid da O-Man. Has he done things I don't like? Yes. Has he done things I do like? Yes. Enough of them? No.

The things he has done were with a Democratic-controlled Senate and House. Doing anything significant with the whiny, petty, fearful, obstructionist, racist, and hater present House GOP is like shoveling shit against the tide.

They haven't drowned his black ass yet. Let's give him another Democratic House in '14 and see what happens.

My Civic Duty Calls

Got tagged for jury duty. Jury selection this morning. See yas.

Update:

Part of my Facebook exchange with Fixer:

I did not get selected for the jury. Didn't even get seated for selection. Doesn't matter, I'm opinionated enough I coulda had the defense attorney and the prosecutor fist fight to see which one of them got to throw me out. Heh. It was an ADW and attempted murder case, both felonies. I tend to think the prosecutor overcharged to get the defendant to plead down to ADW when it probably should have been misdemeanor battery and the guy didn't fall for it so it goes to trial. I'm just guessing at that. I don't like prosecutors very much.

I sat there with my hand cupped to me ear so I could hear which I mostly couldn't anyway so the bailiff issued me a Phonic Ear which picks up transmissions from the various microphones scattered about the courtroom. At least it didn't say "Old Fart Hearing Aid" on it. I think people are just talking more quietly than they used to...
about an hour ago · Like

Fixer Don't get me started on DAs. My mother got out of jury duty by being half-deaf. The judge asked her "Mrs. Wood, if you're seated on the jury, would you be able to hear properly?" My mother's response "if they talk into my good ear I can." Mom was like that. Heh ...
about an hour ago · Like

Gordon That was my Plan C or D too. Heh.
about an hour ago · Like · 1

Gordon The judge asked the folks if there was any medical reason they couldn't serve on a jury. My answers would have been "not since I got my medical pot card" and/or "extreme flatulence".
44 minutes ago · Like · 1

Fixer I'm sure you'd have been happy to give a demonstration.
43 minutes ago · Unlike · 1

Gordon Did sneak in a coupla SBDs. Coulda turned the volume up if if I'da had to.
46 minutes ago · Like · 1

All in all, a good day.

Right = Wrong

Conservatives on the Wrong Side of History on Mandela, Most Other Things

We've known it for years.

When has the American right ever — ever — been on the right side of history?

The answer is almost never.
...

Consider the great political earthquakes throughout history and imagine the contemporaneous—not retrospective, as we are seeing in these phony paeans to Mandela, but in-the-moment—conservative posture. The conservative position was wrong nearly every time — not just wrong, but often morally shocking from our later perspective.
...

Do you support the American Revolution? I should hope so. You would not have, however, had you been a conservative in 1785. American Loyalists, perhaps 20 percent of the white population of the day, were devoted to king and crown for mostly the usual reasons: They were older, better established, had more money, were scared of change.

How about the abolition of slavery? I reckon you’re on board with that. Well, Lord knows you wouldn’t have been if you’d been among the 1860 conservatives who started a war over it (and whose apologists today insist the Civil War was not about slavery).

In terms of domestic politics, few polemical tasks are easier than demonstrating how wrong conservatism has been about pretty much everything in all of American history.

Sadly, a tradition that continues. Much more. Read on.

GOP Guide: 'How To Talk To Women'

Or "How To Never Get Laid Again!" Via TPM.

Thanks to americanbridge21st.

Quote of the Day

From History Palinized:

If you could turn stupid into a fuel, you could use Sarah Palin to leave the Solar System.

Too late. She's already left it. Heh.

Light blogging today

I'm having trouble with my internet connection today. Loads very slow and cannot click through to very much. Better than yesterday but not much. I suspect a frozen server somewhere. We'll see how it goes. Later.

Update:

It was my router interfering with the connection. Unhooked it. OK now.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

On Her Birthday, Republican National Committee Tweet Honors Rosa Parks for “Ending Racism”
And making civil rights movement unnecessary.

Dildoes, the lot of 'em.

Swedish TV Show “Biss och Kajs” (Wee-Wee and Poo-Poo) Educates Children About Bodily Functions
Late night show “Such och Foch” does similar for adults.

Report: Federal Register, a Government Agency, Still Uses Floppy Disks
It's the only agency whose data is secure.

Bob Dylan's Electric Guitar From 1965 Newport Folk Festival Sells for $965,000
To an anonymous old folkie who plans to “burn it to a crisp.”

Heh. Yeah, there are still folks who are pissed off about him going electric.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

No info but it looks like it's from the Transatlantic Sessions.

Mary Black and Emmylou Harris ~ The Loving Time

Thanks to Michael Martins.

Note: YouTube went down while I was posting this. If no video, please check back later.

The GOP’s ‘Hey Ladies, Me Love You Long Time!’ outreach is probably gonna fail big time

TBogg, many, many links.

The GOP is taking great pains to prove to the wimmins of America that, despite their fumbling attempts to transvaginal-wand love the gals for their own good, they are super cool with other things that the ladies want as long as it doesn’t have anything to do with equal pay (including for their own), or talking about their vaginas, or destroying the First Amendment with those aforementioned vaginas. Which leaves the GOP with only forcing approving of women having lots more babies who might grow up to be another Louie Gohmert, not holding down jobs to ensure that their kids don’t become manic bomb-building pixiechildren, and probably taking time out to watch a Lifetime movie or two during the week as long as it doesn’t disrupt sammich making.

So this week the GOP is sending everyone to Camp Justwannacuddle to demystify the baffling ways of these mysterious kitchen-dwelling creatures so that they don’t startle and scare them away when attempting to woo them for their valuable votes and trust and also probably their boobs.

I think it was Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert who said the GOP approached women and the women got a restraining order. Heh.

The Repugs' idea of "outreach" is to keep the ideology the same but on the down low while they sweet-talk the wimmens with lies. The Repugs are gonna get their asses handed to them. Rightly so.

The Worst Reactions to Nelson Mandela's Death

Lest we think he was universally admired as he should be.

Mother Jones, with links and video.

Yes, some of the reactions to Nelson Mandela's death have been less than ideal. As a few have pointed out, the comments on, say, this National Review blog post or Sen. Ted Cruz's Facebook page regarding Mandela (the guy was a commie, racist murderer, yada yada) are fairly disgusting. To be fair, some commenters on the internet are always nasty and dumb, whatever the topic. But how about people who (maybe?) should know better? Here are the worst reactions to Mandela's passing, courtesy of…

1. Rick Santorum: With a straight face, the former Republican senator and failed presidential candidate, who is now making pro-Christian movies, compared Mandela's long struggle against the apartheid regime to Republicans' battle against…Obamacare: "He was fighting against some…great injustice," Santorum said on Fox News yesterday, "and I would make the argument that we have a great injustice going on right now in this country with an ever-increasing size of government that is taking over and controlling people's lives, and Obamacare is front and center in that."

His Mixture is extra Frothy on that one.

And for good measure:

Ted Cruz posts Mandela tribute on Facebook. His fans go crazy.

That's a little off. His fans are crazy. This time they're meaner, nastier, and dumber than usual.

RIP Nelson Mandela

Being Liberal

There are many people in America who have no moral right to quote Nelson Mandela and ride the sudden wave of interest about him... If you have ever been supporting George W. Bush and his War in Iraq you are entitled to share Mandela's memes ONLY with a public admission that you were wrong... The best way to honor Mandela's Legacy would be to listen to wise men in the USA AND around the World BEFORE they die...

Fat fuckin' chance.

Vindicated Arctic Scientist Retires With Cash Settlement

YubaNet

Washington, DC December 4, 2013 — The federal scientist whose sightings of drowned polar bears galvanized public understanding of climate change in the Arctic has retired as part of a settlement of his whistleblower complaint against the U.S. Department of Interior. The agreement, posted today by Public Employees for Environmental Responsibility (PEER), ends a benighted attempt to officially punish and intimidate scientists for the political implications of their work.
...

Following its inability to identify any scientific error, BOEM ultimately issued Dr. Monnett a letter of reprimand, the lowest level of discipline, for a series of five emails he sent to outside individuals in 2007 and 2008 – actions the agency had known about since before the IG investigation but never acted upon. Through PEER, Dr. Monnett filed a whistleblower complaint with the U.S. Office of Special Counsel (OSC) on several grounds, including that the emails documented BOEM legal violations in trying to ram through Arctic offshore drilling permits that were later thrown out in court.
...

"This agency attempted to silence me, discredit me and our work and send a chilling message to other scientists at a key time when permits for oil and gas exploration in the Arctic were being considered. They failed on the first two goals, but I believe that what they did to me did make others afraid to speak up, even internally. Following over two years of hell for me and my family, my name has been cleared and the accusations against the scientific findings in our paper have been shown to be groundless" Monnett said. "However, I can no longer in good conscience work for an agency that promotes dishonesty, punishes those who actually stand up for scientific integrity, and that cannot tolerate scientific work not pre-shaped to serve its agenda." (my em)
...

[...] "If there was any doubt, the five-year employment ban on such a well-qualified, award-winning scientist makes it unmistakably clear that independent scientific views are not welcome in any corner of the Department of Interior."

Score one tiny one for us "warmers". The Department of the Interior needs a thorough cleansing.

The Last Dead Nazi

A 'must read' by William Rivers Pitt.

Heinrich Boere, known Nazi, known murderer, known collaborator with the filthiest tide to ever wash up on the human shore, is dead. He was not the worst of them, but he was willingly one of them. He did not die free, but in fetters on a prison bed without even his own mind left to him. More than some would say it was a better death than he deserved. Most would say that justice, at least to some degree, was finally served.
...

In my own way, I mourn the passing of Heinrich Boere. Not because of what he believed or what he did; were I able, I would spit on his grave...and then light a candle, and stand a vigil, because Heinrich Boere is important to us all. When men like Heinrich Boere die, we are one step closer to forgetting that men like him lived at all, one step closer to forgetting that party-sponsored murder gangs like the Waffen SS ever existed, one step closer to forgetting that hate-fueled thuggery thrives in economic chaos, can take over, and can wreak bloody havoc.

When men like Heinrich Boere die, we are one step closer to having men like Heinrich Boere among us again, because we forget what they did when they are gone, and by forgetting, we allow them to live again. Sooner or later, inevitably, they rise when we forget.
...

It was George Santayana who said, "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." Heinrich Boere is dead. Long live Heinrich Boere.

Do not forget him. If we do, we will have to do him all over again. And again. And again.

And again.

If it was up to me, neo-Nazis and those who, by any name, espouse Nazi thought or display Nazi symbols would be shot on sight, 1st Amendment be damned.

Headline of the Day

R.I.P. Obamacare repeal movement: Crusade is officially dead

Thank goodness, but there was never any doubt it would fail to succeed. Maybe the colossally overpaid Repug pols could go on to something more worthwhile now. Like Benghazi. Heh.

Oh, the irony...

Ironic Times

John Boehner Gets Health Insurance Under Obamacare
Hell freezes over.

Heh.

Limbaugh: Pope “Sounds Like a Communist”
Pope: Limbaugh “sounds like a big fat idiot.”

Report: FBI Kept Tabs on Existentialists Jean-Paul Sartre, Albert Camus
At one point J. Edgar Hoover himself met with Sartre, disguised as Simone de Beauvoir.

Afghan Opium Harvest Up 50%
Your tax dollars at work.

That's a helluva lot better use than some of our tax money goes for, like House GOP salaries.