Parody trolls

We don't have troll problems here at the Brain thanks to our strict, and Draconian, spam and troll policy*. It's nice when you're ex-Special Forces, people believe you actually will** hunt them down and rip their tonsils out through their assholes. Anyway, Brad R. has a new kind of troll; one who's...well...I'll let Brad tell you:

I've concluded that Gary Ruppert must be a parody troll. No actual right-winger could really be this stupid:

Link here and here.

*See left sidebar.
**I really will hunt you down and rip your tonsils out via your rectum if you spam or troll this site.

Blogging and the 'MSM'

The lovely Maryscott O'Connor is the subject of a WaPo piece. I don't think the writer got her, or Left Blogtopia (y!sctp!). Lurch sums it up well:

...I can't help think that the story was a bit of a hatchet job, since those of us on the oxygen-breathing side of the internet understand that WaPo is now, ideologically, an wholly-owned subsidiary of the Republican Party.

Rage happens. We are creatures of emotion. The trappings of civilization fall from us easily and we become the wild beasts we once were, millions of years ago. I see that as a deplorable thing, but I've felt the red heat of rage myself, and understand how little civilized we really are. I think Mary Scott O'Connor's writings stem from a deep well of disgust, anguish and anger at what has been done to destroy our nation, our society. Those who despise America the institution are in charge right now, and work every day to separate us into small, easily manipulated groups and factions.

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I think most of us do this because we're pissed off at what has happened to the nation we love. I sure as hell didn't go into blogging for some fan-love of an ideology. I'm here because I'm fucking pissed and I can vent to folks who understand and maybe educate those who are mis- or under-informed. Most of the folks in the 'media' think we, like the right side of blogtopia, are merely drones, repeating the line of the Kommissars. Hello, McFly? We're the ones with the pitchforks, torches, and the noose.

Saturday Cartoons

As usual at Bob Geiger's. This one sorta fits for me:

But seriously

Think all this nuke talk is just the Chimp's idea of 'diplomacy' in action? Just saber-rattling without substance? Lindsay Beyerstein went to see Sy Hersh at Columbia yesterday:

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The natural temptation is to assume that Bush isn't serious. After all, no rational person would be serious about what Bush's minions are hinting at. And yet, as Hersh knows only too well, Bush has gone ahead and done things no reasonable person would do.

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Coup d'etat

At this point in time, after 5 years of "Presidentin' for Dummies", one is tempted to say, as Gord and I both have, 'it would be nice if 2nd Marines would storm the White House and Capitol and run all the bums out'. Start from scratch and rebuild the nation closer to the Founders' idea of what should be, with 230 years of hindsight. Thing is, the military is just like the Germans; you can't trust 'em with too much power. The reason I'm thinking about it is thanks to this post at Smirking Chimp. A good read and interesting line of thought. Personally, I wouldn't support the idea of the generals rising up against the civilian government. It would set too dangerous a precedent.

Thanks to Jersey Cynic for pointing it out.

Update:

Case in point: Germans with too much power.

"Liberal" media

Joe Klein is a dick. We've all known it for a while now and we all know he showed his ass the other day. Our esteemed colleague, guitar maven, and all around good guy RJ Eskow pulls no punches:

Here's what's wrong with the American press: It's Friday and Joe Klein still has a job. Klein has pathetically attempted to defend himself in HuffPo from the wave of outrage over his recent remark about progressive Democrats - that is, that there is a "hate America tendency of the [Democratic Party's] left wing." Somehow Klein thinks it's less offensive that he said "left wing" instead of "liberal wing" (I guess because his job title at TIME is still "liberal columnist.")

It's a vile and baseless comment. As one who might be considered a member of that "left" wing, I'm deeply offended. Anyone who wants to stand in front of this country-music-playing American and challenge his love for the United States is going to get his ass kicked - Klein included.

(And, Dear Joe: Why is it that Michael Moore's distress over US foreign policy is proof that he 'hates America' - but Grover Norquist's desire to drown its government in a bathtub isn't?) [my em]

...

Hear, hear. [raising coffee cup] Fuck all these so-called 'liberal' assholes in the press. They're spineless, dilettante morons at best, paid propagandists for the GOP at worst (I'm leaning toward the former rather than the latter in Klein's case). You want fair and balanced? Put guys like RJ up there instead of Klein. You'd get real liberal/progressive commentary, and good writing to boot, instead of Rethug-lite, Beltway cocktail party banter. Oh, that's right, that's what the corporate media wants.

You're doing a heck of a job, Rummy

WASHINGTON, April 14 - President Bush strongly defended Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld today, despite calls from retired generals that he step down, and said Mr. Rumsfeld's leadership is vital for the United States.

"Earlier today I spoke with Don Rumsfeld about ongoing military operations in the global war on terror," the president said. "I reiterated my strong support for his leadership during this historic and challenging time for our nation."

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I love watching the Chimp squirm. His entire Presidency is built with Iraq as its foundation. If he cans Rummy, he'll be admitting defeat.

Great thanks to The Burned Over District for the link.

OIC

They're Clinton's generals. [slaps forehead] Silly me.

Friday Cattle Dog Blogging

Dad! I hate that camera!



Almost got it!



Heh, got away just in time.

Very good

A very good post that all should read:

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Now that I've been out of my blogging gig for a while, my anger wheel has been jolted far to the left and when I reread that extraordinarily perceptive passage by Taibbi, I actually felt kind of sorry for the subjects. They're scared is all. They're scared of a lot of things because they need to be scared of a lot of things. They lack purpose without things relentlessly scaring the shit out of them. And in order to distract the media from the fact that they're more juiced up on fear than love for their country, they constantly try to frame liberals - who in their minds still wear patchouli, listen to Jefferson Airplane and love the fuck out of Jane Fonda - of being the cowards because, um, we're "anti-war" (what fucked up times we live in where being "anti-war" is a "bad thing") and we aren't 100% freaked out that gay people, Mexicans, Arabs and the Dixie Chicks are roaming free in our streets.

You see, in reality, us "cowardly" liberals aren't afraid of much of anything. Disgusted, sure. We're plenty disgusted with a lot of things going on in America and the world today, and rightfully so, but our repulsion isn't fueled by fear. It's fueled by hope for better days in America, a concept so antithetical to the rightists' junked-out need for a constant influx of "bogeymen" (they've been trained well), that they aren't able to process the notion that we don't hate our country, we just take great, full-throated exception to how it's being run by them. Or, more to the point, run into the ground by them. [my em]

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Exactly.

To be a Republican

One of Mrs. F's oldest and closest friends, Kathy, (who also knows her way around heavy machine guns by the way) sent this to the house last night.

Things you have to believe to be a Republican today.....

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and yet our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but intelligent design should be taught in schools.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is a solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Friends don't let friends vote Republican.

By the way, her son entered West Point this past fall. Hopefully, Iraq will be a bad memory by the time he graduates.

It's official: Spring is here!

How do I know, you ask? It was 55 degrees today, the warmest day of the year so far? A light flannel shirt was almost too warm in the blazing Sun at midday? Those are good indicators, yes, but, no.

The reason I know it is o-fish-ully Spring is Toni's moped magically appeared in my driveway in a cloud of Merlot fumes! See the backstory here and here.

I love the change of seasons!

On war

From the Generals:

"What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world. ~ Robert E. Lee - Class of 1829

"I am tired and sick of war. Its glory is all moonshine. It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood, for vengeance, for desolation. War is hell." ~ William T. Sherman - Class of 1840

"Wars can be prevented just as surely as they can be provoked, and we who fail to prevent them, must share the guilt for the dead." ~ Omar N. Bradley - Class of 1915

To all those who consider, or enter into, war so glibly: Go fuck yourselves. Quotes taken from the West Pont Graduates Against the War website. Great thanks to the Angry Old Broad for steering me there.

So what does it mean...

When a computer with an IP address in the "Army Information Systems Command-Pentagon" stops by your site from a Google search for "Rumsfeld criticized"? Heh, damn right he was.

Freeloading Socialists...

Glenn Greenwald on the neocons' attack on the retired Generals who are criticizing Rummy and Bush's War:

These Generals -- to whom Hanson refers contemptuously as "Pensioned Army and Marine generals" (those freeloading socialists) -- aren't speaking out because they love their country, are concerned for its well-being under this administration or because they believe anything they are saying. Nope - they're just trying to hawk books and make money, and are acting unethically while they do it. These Generals who are criticizing the administration are just dishonest hacks who ought to be ignored and shunned. As always, Hanson plays around with military glory from the past and wonders why nobody except him and a few others are as noble or brave as those men were:

Criticisms of the Administration come "right around publication date." That's because nobody really finds genuine fault with the Administration. They're just all trying to sell books. Anyone who criticizes the Administration has bad motives, places their own interest over their country, and is undermining our war effort for selfish reasons. Including these "Generals." The great war hero Hanson sees right through them.

These Generals need to just shut up because people like them are the reason that we are losing:

Attacking the motives -- not the arguments or judgments, but the motives -- of a bunch of retired Generals, all because they expressed criticism of the administration's war efforts, gives you a pretty good idea of how these Bush supporters are feeling. Desperate and scared. That must be the feeling inside the White House, too -- everyone is abandoning them, criticizing them, blaming them. They look and feel weak, impotent, and small. And they definitely are going to do something about that.

The weaker and more stigmatized Bush becomes, the greater could be the likelihood of some spiteful, bitter, strength-seeking military offensive. Few things seem more unstable and dangerous than an isolated, unpopular, bitter, failed, frustrated President, sitting in the White House recalling the glory days when war and military might caused him to feel so good and strong.

Greenwald quotes Victor "Raisins" Hanson and Jonah Goldberg, two right-wing war heroes if there ever were any. They know, of course, that those Generals only spent thirty-some years of their lives in harm's way as a ruse to sell books and get on TV. What a pair of ball-less dipshits!

As far as Bush feeling "so good and strong", making criminal war is a truly sick, twisted way of working on your self-esteem.

Yeah...now...

Where were ya in '04, ya bastids? Steve Soto:

How bad is it for Bush now? Kerry would beat him by ten points if the election were re-run, according to a new poll. After you factor in the likely voter advantage that the GOP usually gets, it would result in Kerry winning by about 3-4 points, which given the closeness of several states in 2004, and what we now know about Ohio means that Kerry would take the Electoral College as well. Note that among registered voters, Democrats have a 14-point advantage in the 2006 generic ballot. It all comes down to turnout folks.

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This explains a lot...

I just got this by e-mail from Mrs. G and thought I'd share:

[Mujibar was trying to get a job in India. The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it you cannot qualify for this job." Mujibar said, "I am ready." The manager said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister manager, I am ready."

The manager said, "Go ahead."

Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow, this is Mujibar.'"

Mujibar now works as a technician at a call center for computer problems.

No doubt you have spoken to him.]

I have, but he was in Texas.

...so batty it's an instant classic

Molly Ivins makes an interesting point about Bush's "leaks", disinformation, lies and selective declassification:

The only thing new here is the news that George W. Bush probably knew a couple of days before he talked about them in public that the Defense Intelligence Agency had found they were not mobile weapons labs.

OK, given everything we already know about the lies before the war, this is not particularly startling - although I do think it's long past time we stopped referring to the campaign of disinformation and false information that we were fed as anything but lies. No, the startling and funny part of the "mobile weapons lab" lie is the administration's defense of it, which is so batty it's an instant classic.

According to White House spokesman Scott McClellan, the DIA report debunking the "weapons labs" is "a complex intelligence white paper and it's ... one derived from highly classified information (and) takes a substantial amount of time to coordinate and to run through a declassification process."

If I understand what McClellan is saying, Bush leaked bad information from a classified intelligence report because there wasn't enough time for the contradictory DIA report to go through a declassification process. All of which would make more sense if we hadn't just gone through this Valerie Plame episode, in which the White House says if the president leaked it, then it's legal to leak it. No problem, the president can declassify at will, they said. I don't know about you, but none of it is becoming clearer for me. Does anyone understand yet why we had to bomb Iran?

When it's politically convenient to leak a portion of a document out of context, that's what he does. When it's politically convenient to ignore information he knows about and lie, that's what he does. In any case, he lies pretty much all the time.

Don't worry, Molly. It's starting to become clearer to more and more Americans. It's not much clearer to those of us who knew about Bush all along, but the details - aka 'proof' - are starting to trickle down to folks who loved being swindled, conned, and lied to by that asshole as long as they thought he was 'their' man who would undo the Godless liberal heathen place the country has become and protect them from the monsters he told them were under their beds. When they learn the extent of the Bush/Republican con, they're gonna be pissed, probably more for being shown up in public as fools than for swallowing the bullshit in the first place, but that's OK.

When they realize, as they may be starting to do, that the Culture of Corruption is stealing from them, and their kids are the ones being killed for the Imperial pipe dreams of War Criminals, maybe they'll out with the pitchforks and scythes and go put a few heads on fence posts in D.C. I'd turn on Fox News to watch that just to see how they'd spin it as a Repub positive.

Lie down...

...with mangy old dogs; wake up with God knows what...

Booze and whores...revisited

About a year ago, I wrote that some of my (and my boss Harry's) most oft-repeated war stories involved booze and whores. Harry even has a saying, "wars are won on booze and whores". He says that's the reason we can't win in a war with an Islamic country. Well...that's Harry and I love him regardless. That said, the old man might not be that far off the mark. I stole this from Patrick Dog, an email Colonel Dog [his dad and my kind of officer] sent to him:

The USS Constitution (Old Ironsides) as a combat vessel carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for her crew of 475 officers and men. This was sufficient to last six months of sustained operations at sea. She carried no evaporators.

However, let it be noted that according to her log, "On July 27, 1798, the USS Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men, 48,600 gallons of fresh water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum."

Her mission: "To destroy and harass English shipping." Making Jamaica on 6 October, she took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum.

Then she headed for the Azores, arriving there 12 November. She provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine.

On 18 November, she set sail for England. In the ensuing days she defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchantmen, salvaging only the rum aboard each.

By 26 January, her powder and shot were exhausted. Nevertheless, although unarmed she made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in Scotland. Her landing party captured a whisky distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons of single malt Scotch aboard by dawn.

Then she headed home.

The USS Constitution arrived in Boston on 20 February, 1799, with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, no rum, no wine, no whisky and 38,600 gallons of stagnant water.

GO NAVY!

I guess that's why Harry's the boss...heh...