Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The evolution of hate mail

Morford starts off talking about Burma Shave signs of yore ("Frank lit a match/ to check his tank/ and now/ they call him/ Skinless Frank/ Burma Shave"):

(The closest modern equivalent? Burning Man, with similar sequential signs along the entrance road as you drive in -- though of course BM's signs tend to be far less about male grooming and far more about, you know, god and drugs and sex and love and enlightenment and sex and Rumi and Shiva, and no one ever really shaves at Burning Man, unless you're visiting Genital Grooming Camp. But never mind that now).

Geez, and I thought it was exciting making braided keychains and ashtrays at camp...

Then he goes on to a reaction from a group protesting one series of signs that they felt disrespected porcupines (I kid you not!):

Oh were they upset, absolutely incensed that the company dared to disparage their fine totem animal and demanding the company take down the signs immediately, and the slogan writers should be ashamed of themselves and banned and then also shot and beaten with the butts of Beretta handguns and kicked in the face because they are what's wrong with this country and they will surely burn in Sodom-sucking hell forevermore you commie homo lefty pervert pinko jackass fa--ot.

In a way, it was heartening and fascinating to be reminded that hate mail is not exactly new, to ponder just how far back it goes (Cro-Magnon caves, I imagine, to the first disparaging grunt in response to a nice wall sketch of a bison), how deep into the archives of media history you can dig and find some sample of someone somewhere writing a letter to someone else telling them they loathe and disrespect everything they say and represent on this planet, and if said person ceased to exist or was somehow run over by a large tractor-like apparatus, the semi-articulate letter writer in question would positively cream in his Wranglers and shoot a shotgun into a pod of dolphins with joy, and call it America.

Hmmmm. A slight librul bias perhaps? Well, of course! Liberal hate-mail writers use complete sentences, aka 'thoughts', and punctuate well.

Please read the rest.

No comments: