Thursday, May 27, 2010

How Glenn Beck Taught His Feminine Side To Turn Tricks

The EXileD

The following is an adapted excerpt from Alexander Zaitchik’s book, Common Nonsense: Glenn Beck and the Triumph of Ignorance, just released by Wiley & Sons.

But when it comes to public crying as vaudeville, Beck owes less to universal womanhood than to a very specific brotherhood. He’s not stereotypically premenstrual as much as classically Mormon. Like so much else that baffles people about Beck, his approach to public tears has been shaped in the crucible of his adopted faith. It was the lachrymose Latter-Day Saints who turned an amateur crybaby pro.

When viewed in the context of Mormon practice, Beck’s public crying begins to make more sense. Like his Millennialist politics, they cause liberals to laugh but command respect from Mormon and evangelical religious conservatives. This helps to explain the yawning comprehension gap between his religious fans and his secular critics. Secular liberals watch Beck’s cheap theatrics and see unmanly, dishonest, and possibly insane behavior. Mormons and like-minded evangelicals, especially Pentecostals, see familiar signposts associated with masculinity, sincerity, and even authority.

Anyone who has followed Beck over the course of his career knows that he never followed the Amazing Mr. Plastic Man into the basement, never drank from the Kool-Aid tasting of a truly loving cosmic consciousness. Nor did he lay down his sword. Beck’s spleen drives him still; his self-loathing remains as twisted and deep as ever, daily manifested by a steady stream of gruesomely violent fantasies, vicious personal attacks, and eliminationist rhetoric that routinely reduces his political opponents to cockroaches, cancers, and vermin.

No, Glenn Beck is still the same splenetic jerk he was before he found his Mormon Jesus. His newfound piety is as contrived as his tears.

Miss Becky is a shameless crybaby-on-demand RWNJ cultist whore who has made millions telling ignorant (even if educated) regressives the lies they want to hear.

Call him home, Lord, call him home. Then cast him into Darkness. Ha, joke's on you, Glenda!

Here is a great (I think) comment, as far as it goes, by FrankMcG:

The Mormon religion is the greatest dirty old man scam ever conceived. You make it so older men can marry as many wives as they want as soon as they hit child bearing age, while at the same time ship all the young men off on “pilgrimages” to eliminate the competition. By the time they come back all their childhood sweethearts are married and pregnant to said dirty old men, forcing them to turn to the younger generation of young girls and so the cycle continues.

Really, all religion from the dawn of man has always been just one big con to convince younger tribe members (who can still do work and are useful) that the old men are still important and relevant.

Old men are the ones who start wars, too, and send the young men to do the dirty work to their detriment and the gain of the old men.

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