Thursday, April 28, 2011


After-Birthers! I love it!


Now that President Barack Obama's legal team went out of its way to get a copy of Obama's so-called long-form birth certificate, it's time for the birthers to eat crow, right? Not so much. It hasn't taken long for members of the "birther" movement to grab their backup plans.

They're getting wingnuttier and wingnuttier. Being caught in a lie doesn't faze 'em even a little bit. They had backup bullshit ready to go.

Many cultures bury afterbirth as a tribute to life-giving Mother Earth. I think it would be sacreligious to bury these After-Birthers for the same reason, but possibly OK as fertilizer.

Other cultures fry the placenta with shallots and garlic and...



Go read "Josh's New Taxonomy of Birtherism". There's no reasoning with these racist morons so it's time to just plain ridicule them. Laugh 'em outta the picture.


So as we move into D Day +1 I've been trying to put together a new and workable taxonomy of birtherism. And here are my preliminary findings. Notwithstanding birtherism's roots in xenophobia and racism, the reactions have nonetheless been diverse. The birther movement has broken up into three broad contingents, with at least some overlap between the groups.

Second comes what I now term 'Forensic Denialist Long Form Birthers'. These are the folks who going on very theories deny or doubt the authenticity of the document released yesterday. Orly Taitz appears to be in this category, claiming, with no apparent reason, that an authentic document would have identified Obama's father as "Negro" as opposed to "African." More creatively, Jerome Corsi, author of the swift boat smear and leading birther now calls the Nordyke twins -- two girls born one day after Obama -- represent the "Rosetta Stone" of birtherism because the numbers on their birth certificates are lower than Obama's notwithstanding being born a day later.

Most intriguing and the final broad category are the Racialist Birther Triumphalists. This group accepts the birth certificate as proof that Obama was born where and when he claims. But that doesn't matter, they argue. And the birth certificate actually proves that President Obama's father was not a citizen of the United States at the time of his birth. Ergo, seemingly based on no existing constitutional argument, Obama himself is not a 'natural born' citizen although he is a 'native born' citizen. Even within the RBT category, there appears to be a division between those who say Obama isn't natural born because his dad was not a US citizen and those who claim that Obama is actual a dual-citizen of the British Empire, based on his father's birth, and thus not capable of being President.

Clever stuff. Enjoy.

And now, saving the best for last, my theory on what The Donald is really up to with all his birther noise. Are ya ready?

He's trying to get into Oily Taintz's pants and the haircut* wasn't working...

*He pays for that?!!

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