Presidential Penii ...

The always-hilarious Jesus' General looks at Arizona's (The Through-The-Looking Glass State) new birther bill. You know, the one that says a man running for president can prove he's American by being circumcised (really)? Well, the General has received statements of Presidential Penishood from all the Republican frontrunners.

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It's a great idea if you think about it. American penes are unique in regard to the pressure handling capabilities of their urethra's, the masculine design of their veins, and the shape and taste of their helmets.

Candidates aren't required to present penis identification documents if they have a long-form birth certificate, but many, being men and thus always eager to brag about their little soldiers, have already submitted theirs. I'm including a few excerpts below:

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Put. Coffee. Down. Before. Clicking. Link.