What Obama Should Say, 2012 (Rude Version)

El Rude-o on what Obama oughta say in the debate tonight and of course has better sense but I like it.

"I want to say this to you, Jim and to all Americans: Mitt Romney is the biggest pussy in the world. He is a pussy of such incredible proportions that it'd take a dildo the size of the Hancock Tower to fuck him. Look at what this craven, greedy motherfucker says about health care: he's proud of it, but other it's mighty fine if other states just let people die or go to emergency rooms because otherwise we may as well all be fucking our own asses with Karl Marx's femur. What about that is in any way presidential? You can't even say, 'Hey, I've got this great idea to get people health insurance.' Fuck, that's gotta sting. I don't know shit about Mormons, but the number of lies you've had to tell to get this far in your crazy-ass party has gotta be gettin' your soul all prepped for some fiery doom, man. Or maybe you just give more cash to get out of it.

"Governor, you won the primaries for two reasons: Because you have more money than the rest of your opponents combined and because you are the bottom bitch of the GOP. And you are damn happy being the bottom bitch. I can hear you saying, 'What's that? Sheldon Adelson wants to jizz on my face and call it kosher? Sure, Shel, and I'll call your ass "The Wailing Wall" and press my face against it and pray. What's that? A crazed evangelical is angry that I gave a job to a gay guy? Then I'll fire that gay dude and call Bryan Fischer "Sir" while he paddles my balls with his bible.' Goddamn, you mustn't be hungry after all the right-wing chowder you've gobbled.

Much more!