A Few Brief Notes to Republicans on the Day After Their Defeat by Barack Obama

What would a post-victory day be without a weigh-in from The Rude One? Incomplete, that's what. He does not disappoint.

In four of the last five presidential elections, you lost the popular vote (we won't get into the fact that you really lost four of the last five elections completely). Is that telling you something? No, it's not. Because you're Republicans. And you don't care what reality is. You prefer to attempt to bend reality like a contortionist porn actor trying and failing to lick his own taint from behind.

Holy crap. I thought it impossible, but Rude just outdid himself in the unlikely and possibly physically impossible sexual positions department. I will savor the visual until the bleach tanker arrives...

You lost. It wasn't close. It wasn't a squeaker. It wasn't a nailbiter. All of your internal magical mathematicians were wrong. It was over the second the polls closed on the West Coast because it was over before the election even started. It was over because you nominated a fraud, a Tin Man who spent the entire campaign looking for a heart not because he really wanted one but because his advisors told him that he needed one. It was over because whatever else he tried to be, Mitt Romney was as close to a caricature of a rich dick as you could get without looking like he was merely plagiarizing The Simpsons or Dickens. It was over because, despite every effort to smear and lie about the President, Americans saw that Barack Obama was not your crude Bolshevik monster, but a cool, rational man who kept trying to get things done despite monumental opposition, despite monumental debt, despite a monumental storm. You won't see these things, though, because you're Republicans, and self-reflection is to you what a hot needle is to a cyst on your ass.

He ends his post on a darker and realistic note. Go see for yourself.