Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Open letter to Donald Trump -

- America’s Premier Racist Blowhard Capitalist Pig

The Political Garbage Chute

You’re fired.

To enhance that phrase:

You’re fuckin’ fired;. now shut the fuck up and go the fuck away forever.

You’re an opportunistic slug who lucked into his fortune by way of whose biological detritus from whence you came. Had you been born into the working class I have no doubt you’d be just another weird, bitter old white guy. You know how I know this? You won’t drop the Birther bullshit. Put that down as one more huge clue about life you still haven’t gotten. You’re awfully good at self-promotion, but other than that you are clearly as clueless as any of the ridiculous cast of morons the GOP trotted out last year. Oh wait, that’s right, you were one of them for a brief moment. Did you not learn the lesson the first time you were embarrassingly drummed out of the election once people realized, “Oh yeah, he’s just a toupee’d, loud-mouthed, racist, Plutocrat”?

Believe it not, you actually do have to be somewhat likable to win a presidential election. Contrary to what some on the right may be saying right now, the problem hasn’t been that Republicans haven’t nominated a true conservative in a long time, it’s that they haven’t nominated someone that the electorate really likes. They’ve been counting on the hatred of the Democratic president or nominee to carry them, but as it turns out the electorate isn’t falling for it. Sure, there are any number of complaints you could make about the Democrats in Congress. They are after all one-half of the most useless gaggle of dipshits in a long, long time to sit on the Hill. But for the last twenty years, America’s demographics have been shifting in such a way that the policies the GOP stands for just make them look old, angry, bitter and scared.

Or to put it another way: Like you, Donald.

I miss the old Donald Trump. The one that was an annoying, loud-mouthed, misogynistic asshole that at least knew his place in society. You should be really embarrassed for yourself. Deep-down you know you’re not serious about any of this stuff. The truly sad part is that I don’t know if you’re really a racist or are just embracing all the racist birther stuff to keep a toe-hold on all the bitter, old, white voters. I don’t know what’s better for my opinion of you — that you’re a real racist or that you cynically play one on TV. Oh, I can’t decide, so let’s just say there’s literally nothing you could do short of sewing up your mouth and having your vocal chords removed to improve my view of you.

Now go marry another woman who’d much rather lick the back of a stamp made of dog shit than spend five minutes for you if it weren’t for the size of your…bank account.

Note to Mr. Schlarmann: Try and come outta yer shell and say what you really mean, dude. Heh.

1 comment:

Syrbal/Labrys said...

Like a lot of the folks we wish would go the hell away, Donald has the wherewithal to pay for good medical care. So, we won't see the end of him anytime soon.

Tho' maybe they'd book him on Dancing With the Stars and he'd fall down hard enough to break his jaw...