Moosebreath is a patch on a Marine's ass!*

Bleach alert!

Forgive me for saying this, but click to embiggen. Blechh...

A Marine Gunny has given a new meaning to the phrase "tramp stamp".

Raw Story

If you're ever lucky enough to be in Afghanistan, Gunnery Sgt. Benjamin Lepping’s left butt cheek has a special surprise.

Sarah Palin.

If I'm ever 'lucky' enough to be in Afghanistan, that's the last thing I wanta see. The undersides of 10,000 broken Humvees will be infinitely preferable, thank you very much. Some things are best left to the imagination. Or left out of it.

News of Lepping's Palin tattoo -- which displays her trademark glasses and smiling mug -- has apparently been making the rounds in Lepping's ranks overseas, and appeared online at the Military Times website on Thursday. The Times' headline was, "Marine’s cheeky Sarah Palin tattoo the butt of jokes."

"When I came to Afghanistan, I expected to find many strange and unusual sights," the paper's reporter penned. "A gunnery sergeant with a tattoo of Sarah Palin on his buttocks wasn’t one of them."

I can honestly say this is the first time I've seen a Gunny's hind end. Horrifying.

Goddam, Gunny, ya coulda at least had the tattoo be of the back of her head while she was kissin' yer ass. Shit, if ya wanted remembrance of the good times in Alaska ya coulda got a tat of a Husky or a moose or crabs or sumthin'. Well, maybe not crabs. You probly got plenty of those.

The funny part (to me, sick puppy that I am) of this is that the guy's an EOD man in 6th Marines (2d MarDiv, my old outfit. Fuckin' swell. Yeesh.). One hiccup and that whole grisly tableau, hash marks and all, will be hangin' on some goat humper's wall.

*Credit where credit is due: Mrs. G came up with that. Thank you, sweetie. I think.

Saturday Emmylou Blogging

From 2006

Emmylou Harris ~ Orphan Girl

Thanks to 1000Magicians, UK.

Texas Dildos

Yes, I know the title is redundant. Friday Morford channels Molly Ivins on the Texas lege on his way to discussing the equally, if not more so, moronic Oklahoma one. Not to be missed!

There's a touching scene in "The Dildo Diaries," a sweet 'n' slippery little documentary released way back in 2002, in the very beginnings of the Dark Days of Bush, in which we as viewers are privy to a truly hellish hallucination, a series of images that, should you ever choose to bear witness, will haunt you for the rest of your days.
...

We are shown, via actual footage, a typical workday inside the Texas state legislature.

The scene in question focuses on a very weird, amusing little debate on the House floor. The combatants are trying to decide, awkwardly, laughably, horrifyingly, the issue of whether heterosexual sodomy -- good ol' anal sex -- should be banned outright, right along with then-illegal homosexual sodomy, which in turn was a fine adjunct to the state's classic chestnut-of-a-law declaring that it was completely illegal to be gay in Texas.

This ol' backwoods bozo kinda gets from this that it's OK to stick yer dick in a woodchipper in Texas as long as it's not in the exhaust pipe. It figures that this would be a big topic in a state with 'ass' in its name.

Mr. Morford's larger point is about the damage just inflicted on women's rights in Oklahoma, and you should go read, but I'll stick with Molly. Miss ya, hon.

Caution: Unless you are at work and just wiped up an oil leak and immediately used the same shop towel as a snot rag, this is not work safe. Then again, you know your co-workers better than I do. Hell, call 'em all over to watch.

Also, the following video has been known to make strong men blush, like about two minutes ago, and the fellow to whom I refer had a prostate exam yesterday and thus is somewhat current on this subject, though not in any fun way. (I'm fine, thanks, but I wish they'da taken the climbing spikes off the telephone pole first! The doc's shit-eatin' grin was a tipoff, but it was too late...).

Memorable line: "I would suggest you see a doctor about his aim". Trust me...and check out the chachabingoes on the redhead toward the end. Makes me hungry like a baby!

Thanks to DildoGranny. I kid you not.

Damn, I forgot ta give ya a 'liquid alert'. Joke's on you! Heh.

The Palin Brand

Timothy Egan in The Gray Lady's Opinionator:

In the midst of one of the most precipitous political crashes in the Mountain West, Sarah Palin made a mad dash into Boise on Friday, urging the election of a man who had plagiarized his campaign speech from Barack Obama, had been rebuked by the military for misusing the Marine uniform and had called the American territory of Puerto Rico a separate country.

And why not? Vaughn Ward, the Republican congressional candidate from Idaho, has the dubious character trifecta of the Palin brand: bone-headed, defiant and willfully ignorant. When told that Puerto Rico was not a country, he said, “I don’t care what you call it.”

On Tuesday, this Palin protégé was routed in a huge upset, despite a big early lead in the polls, a 6-to-1 fundraising edge and that Friday fly-in by the former half-term governor, who has Idaho roots.

Between surreal appearances from Wasilla as the caged pundit of Fox News and quick, splashy landings in the lower 48 states, Palin has shown she still has the attention span of a hummingbird on a nectar jag. She does not do basic homework. Never has. The result is a string of endorsements for people whose lives are living contradictions of their stated philosophies.

But in deciding to get rich quick, the demi-governor has ditched whatever grounding she may have had in what Bush aides dismissed as the “reality-based community,” and lost her way in the Last Frontier State. Her brand is toast there, as well.

Of late, whenever a candidate with the Palin blessing blows up, she blames it on the “lamestream media,” not personal responsibility. It’s a curious claim, coming from a person who said she studied journalism in college, but is appalled by real journalism.

The attacks on her man in Idaho, Palin told a half-empty arena in Boise on Friday, were “a violation of our press freedom.” In fact, it was the press — led by the venerable Idaho Statesman newspaper — simply doing the thankless job of trying to keep politicians honest. The real piling on came from Idaho conservative bloggers, who were unrelenting in pointing out how the Palin candidate lifted his campaign speech almost word-for-word from Obama’s stirring 2004 Democratic convention address.

It’s early in the campaign season, but these car wrecks on the Palin highway are piling up. As for the Palin brand, it seems to represent no consistent philosophy, no guiding principles, no remedial vetting. It stands for one thing — Palin — and in that sense, she does have a legacy, though it can only be measured in dollars.

Go read the rest. It's schadenfreudelicious.

Politically, her 'brand' is turning into 'Typhoid Sarah'. Or maybe 'Yugo'. I doubt if she cares, or even notices, as long as the checks cash.

She's going to give one of her screechy addle-pated rants against reality at Cal State Stanislaus (rhymes with 'slaw') for $93,000 and bendy straws. I won't go into the brouhaha out here over paying this kind of money for lies and delusions when our institutions of higher learning are in a precipitous financial state.

I just hope her speech doesn't undo their educations and make the students stoopid.

Note to Typhoid Sarah: Keep up the good work until your brand of nutjob politics is an even worse bad joke than it is now and the rest of us can move on. When we're free of your wacko politicians trying to take over, you'll still be fine. Since ill-gotten gains are best quickly spent, take the money and run to the place of your dreams where right-wing religion rules and there's no government intrusion in your daily life or Constitutional rights for people who don't agree with you, just like you want to see here, and you can be on your own like the rugged American individualist you think you are. May I suggest Somalia? You'll love the tropical breezes and diseases and the down home maritime approach to international trade too!

When you get there, live fast. Your life expectancy will be about the same as a Marine radio operator's on a hostile beach. It's worth it to be 'free', huh?

Dear Dr. Laura...

Got this by email from my pal Bev:

[In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on theInternet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia]

Just because people are intelligent and educated and capable of making lots of money, it doesn't necessarily mean they got any smarts or common sense. This is particularly so for The Haters following the Repuglican't agenda.

Then again, intelligence and education help when ya wanta be a smartass and stick yer finger in dumb ol' Dr. Laura's eye.

Note to Dr. Kauffman: Try some hickory or mesquite chips when yer burnin' a bull.

Litmus tests ...

No, I don't want the Dems to become the Republicans, but in the case of the "Blue Dogs", what do they have to do to get their membership cards pulled? Jesus H. Christ, if a Republican went against the party line as many times as these people do, they'd be tossed out on their ears. Shouldn't you at least have to support some of the party's principles and vote with your own when it really matters? I mean, why be on the team if you're rooting for your opponent to win?

Just askin'.

Perspective ...

While not minimizing the BP disaster, nor my sadness at the damage to the environment and the locals' way of life, they sure as hell didn't bitch about the money companies like BP brought in:

... I've been schooled recently that the people of Louisiana love their corrupt politicians and expect them to keep Big Oil happy.

...

These are the folks who don't want "big government" meddling in their affairs, who don't want the gravy train derailed because of "government regulation", yet they're on every TV show now, bitching about how the government hasn't done enough to help them.

Sorry, but you can't have it both ways.

You can't welcome these corporations with open arms, hearing their promises of employment and money, dancing for joy as the leases were sold, and then cry when they give you the shaft.

...

Times Picayune outdoors Editor Bob Marshall put the blame on the backs of Louisiana’s elected officials, saying they became boosters for development, not protectors of the public trust. "The shock being expressed by these folks – and many of their constituents – at the terrible environmental gamble that comes with offshore drilling goes beyond preaching caution after the horse is out of the barn. After all, these same groups helped open the barn door, hung a feed bucket around the horse’s neck, and then gave it a good slap on the rump to speed it on its way."

Yes, there is plenty of blame to go around. But maybe it goes beyond just the feds, the Louisiana congressional delegation, and other public officials. The state as a whole just might want to take a look in the mirror. Louisiana was seduced by an outside industry full of vast economic promises. The money came in easily and there can be no dispute that many new jobs were created. But when you put the financial tally to paper, has it been worth it? [my ems]

...

When you deal with the Devil, eventually you have to pay the price (1 ea. Human Soul) and the people of the Gulf Coast are now paying with their souls, on many levels.

By god, we should do all we can to plug the leak and clean up the mess (and put some big shots from BP in jail), but when this is over, the people of Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and the others might just want shut the fuck up and let the "big government" do what it has to in order to make certain this never happens again.

I'm sick and tired of all these folks basically saying they don't want to be part of the United States until the shit hits the fan. They don't like the East and West Coast "Liberal Elite" until they're up to their necks in shit, or water, or oil, and then they're the first ones in line with their hands out. They don't want to pay taxes, but they sure as hell want the government to have the wherewithal to dig their ass out of whatever hole they're in.

Yes, I feel horrible for the fishermen, the hoteliers, and all the other folks who've had their lives turned upside down, but it's time they realize that nothing is for free. You might not have to pay for it right away, but the bill will eventually come due. The Gulf states are paying for the easy money and jobs they got when the oil leases were sold. If they don't want this to happen again, they'd better take a hard look at what they're getting before they sign on the dotted line.

Republicans Demand a Government Takeover and Bailout of the Oil Spill

Bob Cesca

Now that crude has begun to wash upon the shores and wetlands of Republican red states, any superficial bumper sticker griping about socialism has been temporarily forgotten.

That's the bitch about building a party platform around specious, shallow platitudes. They might be effective in terms of rallying the easily-led, low information base, but as soon as practicality steps in, all sloganeering is dropped in lieu of confronting and dealing with reality. Subsequently, these alleged free market state's rights small government anti-regulation southern conservative cardboard standee Republicans continue to demand federal help and socialized taxpayer money. The Republicans are demanding redistributed wealth from Pennsylvania and Vermont and Illinois and New York and Massachusetts with all of its socialist bleeding heart tree-hugging environmental wacko liberals.

However hypocritical the Republicans might be on this, they're ultimately correct. The federal government has a responsibility to protect our economy, our natural resources and our lives from the destruction that's often wrought by irresponsible corporations. Thanks, Republicans, for finally catching up.

The Repugs haven't caught up with jack shit. As soon as this oil mess is off the news cycle they will conveniently forget their moment of sensibility and it'll be back to business as usual.

But for as long as it lasts I am enjoying the irony of them being forced to pop their heads up out of their own ideological muck and mire and draw a nice clean breath of reality.

The Doomsday Bomb

Tom Tomorrow

Click to, er, explode it

Not One of the Ten Commandments Are in the Constitution

Tina Dupuy

There are no democratically elected leaders in the Christian bible. I know – it’s shocking. But, if you catch the rhetoric pertaining to the US Constitution, you’d think the Ten Commandments are its bullet points. They’re not. The whole idea of a representative democracy (a Greek word) comes from Ancient (think then-solvent) Greece. The leaders in the bible were all kings and/or tyrants and the Bill of Rights is nowhere in the New or Old Testament.

So when fly-by-night pontificators, the loudest being the scholarly Sarah Palin, claim this country’s laws are ordained by God via the bible, she needs to show her work – because freedom of the press, due process and freedom of speech are not through-lines in biblical teachings. [...]

Evidently, just because it’s “protected speech” doesn’t make it “factual.”

When you break it down, three of the Ten Commandments are universal laws with zero controversy (do not murder, do not steal, no false witnessing). The teetering point to make half of the most widely accepted version of the Ten Commandments actual laws have been fought over by the states. Blue Laws, laws prohibiting things on Sundays based on the Commandment to keep the Sabbath holy, are still on the books in some places. They’re some of the sillier laws in the country. In Texas you couldn’t buy anything on Sundays you could do work with. So hardware stores had to put blue price tags on things like hammers up until the law was overturned in 1984. There are still places where you can’t buy a car on “the day of rest.” Let alone booze.

Talk about over-reaching government dictating what businesses can do.

The question is: do we really want to live in a country that makes not honoring your mother and father a crime? Is it wise to have a law mandating you can’t have any other gods or make false idols or covet your neighbor’s spouse? The Founding Fathers (ahem) clearly thought it wasn’t.

Why, if you want America to be more religious, do you need to co-opt history to accomplish it? Have the courage to stand up for your convictions without creating fiction about the founding documents. I don’t agree with the Founding Fathers about everything (slavery, women’s rights, native peoples rights). But that doesn’t make the US Constitution, in my eyes, any less of an amazing feat for humanity.

So go ahead and stand up for your faith and be proud. But lying for it is, ya know, after all – bearing false witness.

I said somewhere something like extremism in the defense of ignorance and false throwback ideology for political power is no vice. It's the phony christian thing to do and IOKIYAR.

Alan Grayson Is On Target About Al Qaeda and the GOP

Legal Schnauzer, links and videos at site.

U.S. Rep. Alan Grayson (D-FL) is taking heat in some circles for allegedly comparing Republican officials to members of the terrorist group Al Qaeda.

First, Grayson did not compare Republicans to Al Qaeda. But if he had, he would have been on the right track.

I live in Birmingham, Alabama, and have faced various forms of retaliation for daring to expose Republican corruption in our state courts and to write critically about the Bush Justice Department, especially its handling of the Don Siegelman and Paul Minor cases in the Deep South.

I know, from firsthand experience, that Alan Grayson is right--Republicans can, and do, act like terrorists.

Well, that depends on your definition of terrorism--and we have examined that subject in a post titled "Dubya: The Terrorism President." While some see George W. Bush as the president who fought terrorism, I argue that he is the president who actually fostered terrorism--on our own soil. And the Bush brand of terrorism was driven largely by a Rove-led hostile takeover of the U.S. Department of Justice.

Here is one definition of terrorism that I find instructive:

Terrorism: The unlawful use or threatened use of force or violence against people or property to coerce or intimidate governments or societies, often to achieve political, religious, or ideological objectives.

We've been conditioned to believe that terrorism involves bombs, airplanes, injuries, and death. But the definition above indicates it can be more subtle than that.

Go read the rest. This guy is right on the money.

How Glenn Beck Taught His Feminine Side To Turn Tricks

The EXileD

The following is an adapted excerpt from Alexander Zaitchik’s book, Common Nonsense: Glenn Beck and the Triumph of Ignorance, just released by Wiley & Sons.

But when it comes to public crying as vaudeville, Beck owes less to universal womanhood than to a very specific brotherhood. He’s not stereotypically premenstrual as much as classically Mormon. Like so much else that baffles people about Beck, his approach to public tears has been shaped in the crucible of his adopted faith. It was the lachrymose Latter-Day Saints who turned an amateur crybaby pro.

When viewed in the context of Mormon practice, Beck’s public crying begins to make more sense. Like his Millennialist politics, they cause liberals to laugh but command respect from Mormon and evangelical religious conservatives. This helps to explain the yawning comprehension gap between his religious fans and his secular critics. Secular liberals watch Beck’s cheap theatrics and see unmanly, dishonest, and possibly insane behavior. Mormons and like-minded evangelicals, especially Pentecostals, see familiar signposts associated with masculinity, sincerity, and even authority.

Anyone who has followed Beck over the course of his career knows that he never followed the Amazing Mr. Plastic Man into the basement, never drank from the Kool-Aid tasting of a truly loving cosmic consciousness. Nor did he lay down his sword. Beck’s spleen drives him still; his self-loathing remains as twisted and deep as ever, daily manifested by a steady stream of gruesomely violent fantasies, vicious personal attacks, and eliminationist rhetoric that routinely reduces his political opponents to cockroaches, cancers, and vermin.

No, Glenn Beck is still the same splenetic jerk he was before he found his Mormon Jesus. His newfound piety is as contrived as his tears.

Miss Becky is a shameless crybaby-on-demand RWNJ cultist whore who has made millions telling ignorant (even if educated) regressives the lies they want to hear.

Call him home, Lord, call him home. Then cast him into Darkness. Ha, joke's on you, Glenda!

Here is a great (I think) comment, as far as it goes, by FrankMcG:

The Mormon religion is the greatest dirty old man scam ever conceived. You make it so older men can marry as many wives as they want as soon as they hit child bearing age, while at the same time ship all the young men off on “pilgrimages” to eliminate the competition. By the time they come back all their childhood sweethearts are married and pregnant to said dirty old men, forcing them to turn to the younger generation of young girls and so the cycle continues.

Really, all religion from the dawn of man has always been just one big con to convince younger tribe members (who can still do work and are useful) that the old men are still important and relevant.

Old men are the ones who start wars, too, and send the young men to do the dirty work to their detriment and the gain of the old men.

Job creation ...

Raisin' da cheeb; via our buddy Montag:

...

"My gut instinct said that this would be a great revenue and job generator for the city," she said. "But after running the numbers, "I went, 'Wow, that’s really a job generator.'"

Brion’s report found that licensing a seven-acre cannabis growing facility near I-880 at the Embarcadero would create up to 371 union jobs, paying an average salary of $53,700 a year. The site could produce an average of 58 pounds of cannabis per day, and generate gross revenues of around $59 million per year. The site would grow an estimated quarter of one percent of the estimated 8.6 million pounds of cannabis cultivated annually in California.

...

I wonder if they'd let me build a little cottage right in the middle of it?

Brown is the new green ...

Bashing BP, stolen from my pal Creature:

Bullshit walks ...

I like President Obama, I really do, but sometimes I think he needs an aide to light a fire under his ass. When this bitch blew up, he should have grabbed that Aussie fuck from BP by the balls and started squeezing immediately. By now, the guy's head should have exploded.

That said, via Skippy, a list of things that could be done by the White House regarding this horror.

...

9) Call that lazy-assed sad-sack Joe Lieberman and tell him whatever super-secret-y deal you guys have going in the way of a quid pro quo is off if Lieberman cannot find some reason to investigate the relationships between Department of Interior and any corporation with which it deals. Make the call private, and tell him if he doesn’t have hearings within 15 days you are going to publicly call him on the carpet for the benefit of CT voters every chance you get until 2012.

10) You know damned well if they cut corners in the Gulf of Mexico, they did it elsewhere. Threaten to go for the jugular on them if they don’t continue to play ball with clean-up in the Gulf.Take a bunch of bloggers up to BP’s operations in Alaska and let them roam around for a couple weeks. Make BP pay for it — figure it out, you have the EO in one hand and the power to print money in the other. Keep the pressure on BP until they beg for mercy.

...

It's time for some serious action, a time to send a signal (the opportunity lost a year ago with the banking industry) to corporations that play time is over. It's time to back up the strong words with deeds.

Lawyering up ...

The conservatives get all fired up when 'terrorists' are given the opportunity to retain counsel. Looks like the leadership at BP is beginning the effort to keep themselves out of jail:

WASHINGTON — A top BP worker who was aboard the Deepwater Horizon in the hours leading up to the explosion declined to testify in front of a federal panel investigating the deadly oil rig blowout, telling the U.S Coast Guard he was invoking his constitutional right to avoid self-incrimination.

...

They know somebody fucked up and this was no 'accident':

...

Employees and experts testified that in the hours before the explosion, they witnessed a power struggle over that decision — the kind of argument common among the different parties that lease and run complicated offshore drilling operations, but one that this time, had deadly consequences.

One employee who worked for the rig owner, Transocean, was so mad after the fight that he warned they'd be relying on the rig's blowout preventer if they proceeded the way BP wanted.

...

Somebody was showing off for the home office suits and everything went to Hell. I ain't holding my breath but it would be nice to see a few of these fuckers frogmarched into a U.S. courthouse.

Quote of the Day

Fez:

... Yes, that's the real news, a blogger, let alone a conservative one, getting laid.

This just in

Ru Rand Paul ain't Libertarian enough for the Libertarians as they try to out-Libertarian each other.

WaPo

FRANKFORT, Ky. -- The Libertarian Party is considering running a candidate in Kentucky's U.S. Senate race, saying GOP nominee Rand Paul - the son of a former Libertarian presidential candidate - has betrayed the party's values.

Party Vice Chairman Joshua Koch said Wednesday that Paul has been a black eye for Libertarians because of stands he's taken on issues, including his criticism of the 1964 Civil Rights Act.

Koch said Paul is not a Libertarian. He called Paul and his Democratic opponent, Kentucky Attorney General Jack Conway, "faces of the same bad coin."

"He had gone from being an outsider candidate to a tea party candidate to an establishment candidate in the past nine months," Koch said. "It's a complete identity crisis. I've never seen anything like it."

The cat don't have a real clear idea what 'establishment' candidate means, does he? Heh.

"The reason why we would even consider running somebody in this race is because we're not going to let Rand determine what a Libertarian stands for," he said. "I'm here to say Rand does not have the Libertarian ideology."

Libertarians typically side with Democrats on social issues and Republicans on fiscal issues. Because of that, a Libertarian candidacy would likely draw equally from both Paul and Conway, said University of Kentucky political scientist Stephen Voss.

IMNSHO, an 'establishment' Libertarian candidate will split 5 - 7% off the Repug/Teabagger vote, less off the Democratic vote and Conway might win.

So now Kentucky Libertarians are squaring off against the Teabaggers as being the 'establishment'. This is getting better and better.

Jokes

Mrs. G's sister sent her some jokes for her birthday. Here's couple of 'em.

Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
...

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.

'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'

'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one..'

He's still in intensive care.
...

Ooh, bad move, dude. Musta lost his mind to strong drink. Intensive care is as good a place as any to sober up and reflect on errors of judgment.

I like this one:

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there'.

Heh.

SPF 100 will melt your face off

If it's Wednesday, it must be Morford on lies, lies, and more lies about a variety of things. Purposeful misconceptions too.

(Oh, and beds? Mattresses? Those posh, $5,000 ones with the four-inch pillowtops and gold-dipped European springs that have been individually licked by eunuch gnomes? Also a total lie. After about a grand for a great, basic mattress, your body has no clue what it's riding on, and that includes Charlie Sheen and Stoya. Just FYI).

On it goes. Recently was I at Walgreens perusing the candy-colored collection of hardcore chemicals known as consumer sunblocks, all those supposedly safe, healthy, body-protecting lotions, liquids and sprays, nearly every one claiming something quite happily impossible (100 percent waterproof! Total sun block! Does not cause instant blindness in monkeys, we think!), all of them so full of marketing gloss that you're meant to believe one shot of Bullfrog™ Super Waterproof MegaSport SunPreventer Extreme II lets you go traipsing completely naked through sub-Saharan Africa for a month, never suffering so much as a freckle.

It's a crock. [...]

What else you got? Food expiration dates? A lie. Ethanol? Lie. Clean coal? Lie. Coke mini? Total bulls-- lie. Bottled water? Massive, unconscionable lie, still and forever. The Bible? Cute cluster bomb of childish oral-tradition mythology told by angry, sexless white men and then translated from multiple dead languages and re-written and re-edited countless times throughout history for the sake of power and political gain and to control the ignorant masses via guilt, shame and fear. Oh, and also a lie. But, you know, a well-intentioned one. Sort of.

The Bible? Yeah, one little white lie amongst many that are ongoingly wreckin' the world.

The good news is, it's not really true. The good news is, most of what we worry and stress about never actually comes to pass. The vast majority of fears are unfounded, the dire threats to our lifeblood turn out to be whimpering clowns who only wanted a moment of attention because they're lonely and sad. Just like everyone else.

The good news is, the good news is still outweighing the bad. The good news is, if everything were as dire and hellbound as the Christian fundamentalist right, the eco-maniac left and the libertarian nutball fringe say it is, we would've blipped out a thousand years ago in a puddle of whining, bloodshed and severely sunburned shoulders. Isn't that reassuring? I have no idea. Who wants lip balm?

More. Links. Go.