Absolutely, Postively 100% Politically Incorrect Quote of the Day Revisited And Then Some

Expanding on my own post, here's Tracy Morgan's whole bit at Crooks and Liars. Some snippets:

[...] Let me tell you something, Barack knows how to answer that phone. He’s not going to answer it like, (soft, frightened voice) “Hello, I’m scared. What’s going on?” He is gonna answer it like I would get a phone call at 3 in the morning: “Yeah, who’s this? This better be good or I’m going to come down there and put somebody in a wheelchair.”

3 AM, shit. I'm like that after 7:30 PM. Call me at 3 AM, my house better be on fire, cuz if it ain't, yours is about to be...

[...] People saying he’s not a fighter. Let me tell you something. He’s a gangsta, he’s from Chicago. Barack is not winning because he’s a black man. If that was the case, I would be winning. And I’m way blacker than him. I used to smoke Newports and drink Olde English. I grew up on government cheese, I prefer it. [...]

So these two guys go down to the post office to get some government cheese, but the line was too long so they decided to just swipe the cheese from the next person to come out. This they did, and after runnin' for a while, they stopped and compared their loot.

"I got American cheese. What kind you get?"

"I got nacho cheese."

"How d'ya know?"

"Well, when I grabbed it, they guy hollered, 'Hey! That's nacho cheese!'"

(rimshot)

Sorry, my BP meds are makin' me dizzy...