Monday, January 12, 2009

Here’s One Way for Obama to ‘Move On’ From Bush’s Illegal Policies


"Exactly 24 minutes after I'm sworn in, I'm gonna have Jack Bauer swoop in, arrest Bush and Cheney right on the podium, and have them renditioned for some enhanced interrogation techniques. Now, unnerstan', I normally don't believe in shipping jobs overseas, but we simply have to put some things behind us and move on."

Don's being satirical because that's what he does, but it's a damn fine idea.

I wouldn't use the fictional Bauer though. He's gotten this country in enough trouble already, since that show is where Bush and Cheney got a lot of their ideas on torture in the first place. Life imitating bad pop art.

I would use really large nasty-ass combat Vet Marine Gunnery Sergeants. Give 'em armbands and sidearms and arrest warrants and carte blanche to use whatever tactics they choose and tell them to treat B & C like they were the guys who had sent so many of their comrades to unnecessary deaths in Iraq. A thorough background in how White House politics caused there to have to be two battles in Fallujah when the Marines were mere yards from winning the first one oughta do for motivation.

Another phalanx of MPs would bring in a whole lot of neocons in their usual gentle, caring, sensitive manner.

Then I'd have 'em all 'renditioned' to Base Building 3 at Camp Lejeune. The brig. Put 'em in with a buncha Iraq Marines whose conduct upon return due to PTSD or TBI put 'em there. I think it'd be really fun to see what Yoo and Addington think of torture after a coupla weeks of that! Probably not too much since they'd likely be dead. Why waste money on lengthy, costly trials for war criminals?

At some point, I'd offer the Decider and Bush their choice of ways of doing the right thing and see if they have balls to do it. Pill or Pistol. See if they're the men Hitler was. My bet is they aren't.

Be glad I'm not in charge of this country. There'd be some Change all right.

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