The Political Carnival
This is funnier than anything I could come up with. Why wouldn't little Georgie jump at this? He'd even get his own parking space. And it's local! He could ride his bike over, Pickles could pack him a nice lunch, he'd get a discount on them brush-clearin' saws. Maybe he'd even get a name tag! That way nobody will forget who he is. On second thought, forget the name tag:
Elliot’s Hardware — a local Dallas hardware store — has “appealed to former President George W. Bush to spend his new-found retirement working as a part-time greeter at its Maple Avenue store.” [...]
And he wouldn't even have to organize his pea brain enough to mumble "Want fries with that?"...
If I ever walked into the hardware store and that son of a bitch greeted me, I'd turn around and walk back out and I don't give a damn how bad I needed a part for my leaky toilet. I might take one step past him so I could turn around and walk back out over his supine toothless form.
The owner of that hardware store must want out of the hardware business in the worst way, for that's the worst way I could think of.