The Congressional Hypocritical Oath
"I [state your name] do solemly swear to uphold and defend my elected office at all costs. I promise to desecrate the Constitution, even rape and kill, if required, in the cause furthering my personal gain and retention of power. I further hold that placing the interests of large corporations or interest groups who might employ me or family members now or in the future is paramount and desireable. Their interests are above the interest of those "little people" back in my state or district or our nation. All contributors (of large money) will receive my personal attention and benificence whenever possible to the fullest extent of my ability and office.
I further swear to always be seen in the presence of at least one "disadvantaged" person, and be seen carrying a bible or other religious icon and say "Jesus" or "God" whenever television cameras are within 100 feet of me, so help me Protestant God"
Stolen from DemVet who cannot be any more dead on. Another squid who calls 'em right.