Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The tabloids are better at 'Gotcha!' "journalism". Unless you're a Democrat, of course.

Proudly and singlehandedly lowering the tone of our political discourse, which is no mean feat in and of itself, I present this piece on how the tabloids sometimes get it right when the "real" media don't:

Is Laura Leaving Bush After he Leaves Office Because He's Been Hitting the Sauce Again?

This begs the question whether Bush had returned, in full, to his Frat boy days at Yale, including getting high on the sauce. Wonkette, for one, asked the question, "Was Bush Falling Down Drunk At Olympics?"

Click it. Looks pretty juiced to me.

Bush's behavior at the Olympics should have been a national scandal, but big media just shrugged it off as jocular good fun.

As for Laura and George's marriage (and her much rumored short stay at the Mayflower Hotel last year), only time will tell if George, the self-avowed alcoholic, has returned to his old ways.

In the meantime, if you want to even consider the possibility that George is downing liquor, the only place, apparently, you will be allowed to openly read about it is in the tabloids.

I look at the covers when I'm standing in line like everybody does. Sometimes I comment in my drill-field whisper to the amusement of others, particularly about UFOs and the resultant alien babies at the White House. Some folks pick 'em up and thumb through 'em. I wouldn't be caught dead doing that! My dear departed mother-in-law actually subscribed to a coupla the damn things and, since the statute of limitations has run out, I'll cop to readin' 'em at her house.

Of course, tabloid fodder about Britney, Brangelina, Paris, Rosie, and the like regularly seep up the feeding chain into the corporate press, but Bush's personal life is off limits.

The question is why?

Isn't he the one still answering the 3 AM phone calls?

Actually, probably not. They just go directly to Dick Cheney. He's only drunk when he is out shooting friends ... uh, we mean pheasants.

Bush's personal life is off limits in the MSM because the bigwigs don't want us to see it, but just once I'd like to see video of him fallin' down drunk. Maybe from one o' them dashboard cams on Cops.

Click the link and go see the colorful graphics and read the story. Nobody'll see ya...

Note to Pickles: Soak him good when ya split. You still look plenty good, but money'll help. You might not like it in Paraguay anyway. Better yet, drop a dime on him, and after we hang his punk ass, you'll get it all.


News Corpse

The national embarrassment that is our president once again raises its reddened face. In photographs from the Olympics in China, it appears that recovering souse, George W. Bush, is relapsing.

In one picture his face is flushed, his eyes droop, and his expression is dopey. In all fairness, that may be his normal expression. However, the bloody scrape on his arm suggests that he has recently taken a less than normal fall.

In the other picture, Bush appears to be having trouble remaining upright without considerable help. It takes three men to prop up the wobbly boozer-in-chief.

Don’t it make ya feel proud?

Yeah, I've been hangin' my head in shame for 7½ years because I'm so proud of what he's done. I hope his liver explodes.

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