CAMBRIDGE (IWR Satire*) - A study conducted by scientists at MIT found that, in general, Republicans have much longer noses than their Democratic counterparts. They said this was do to a "Pinocchio Effect" caused by members of the GOP telling a higher frequency of untruths than average Americans.
According to lead scientist, Heirlooom Tomotso: "It's not that Independents or Democrats don't lie; the problem with Republicans is that they believe their own lies after they make them up causing them to lie with impunity. This makes their noses to grow unaturally long as predicted by Darwin's law of nasal selection".
*Satire has to be clearly labelled these days because it is perilously close to be taken for the truth when applied to anything the Repugs do.