"We Kicked The Crackers' Asses Day"

Since we're being forced to remember the Confederacy this month, let's remember where the Civil War ended. The final ass kicking was handed to the secesh in Virginia. Be sure to tell all the tourists about that, McDonnell.

I propose that April 9 be designated an annual National Holiday called "We Kicked The Crackers' Asses Day" or "They Started It And We Ended It Day" or maybe "Those Fucking Traitors Should Thank Their Lucky Stars We Didn't Kill 'Em All Like We Should Have Day".

Surrender at Appomattox, 1865

With his army surrounded, his men weak and exhausted, Robert E. Lee realized there was little choice but to consider the surrender of his Army to General Grant. After a series of notes between the two leaders, they agreed to meet on April 9, 1865, at the house of Wilmer McLean in the village of Appomattox Courthouse. The meeting lasted approximately two and one-half hours and at its conclusion the bloodliest conflict in the nation's history neared its end.

Prelude to Surrender

On April 3, Richmond fell to Union troops as Robert E. Lee led his Army of Northern Virginia in retreat to the West pursued by Grant and the Army of the Potomac. A running battle ensued as each Army moved farther to the West in an effort to out flank, or prevent being out flanked by the enemy. Finally, on April 7, General Grant initiated a series of dispatches leading to a meeting between the two commanders.

Note to Secesh Who Won't Let It Die: That was 145 years ago. You were wrong to begin with, you never stood a chance, you started the war anyway, and you lost. Get the fuck over it. Our biggest mistake is letting you peckerwoods fly that goddam slave flag. If it was up to me, the US Army, the same one that kicked your cracker ass, perhaps in nice blue "Fuck You Johnny Reb, We're Here To Do It Again You Bastards" uniforms, would be sent to tear that despicable rag to shreds wherever they found it, including motorcycle and pickup truck paint jobs and tattoos.

It was inevitable that The South would rise again. Shit floats. Perhaps we need to flush it again.

A tip o' the Brain to Mrs. G who gave me the 'National Holiday' idea.