Assembly ...

I posted this about a year ago when I was working on the wife's office and the time was rife for me to start getting "Christmas gift assembly" calls. It's that time again. Spare the "guy with skills" in your life extra aggravation this holiday season. Heh ...

* Open the box and find the directions first before you unpack any of the parts. Read them thoroughly, twice if you have to.

* Next, find the bag(s) or card with the hardware (screws, bolts, brackets) and compare them to the parts list in the directions (in both size and quantity - most manufacturers give "actual size" pictures of what things look like). If anything's not there, or you're not sure about something, now is the time to go to the website or call the toll-free number for help given in the directions (men, again, do not be ashamed to do this), not when whatever you're working on is half assembled.

* Locate all the major parts, unwrap them and lay them out in order of use (again, consult the directions).

* Use the now-empty box as a garbage can. As soon as you unpack something, toss the wrapping materials directly in there. Why? Because it's frustrating when little shit gets caught up or hidden by the wrappers and you can't find it when you need it. Makes it easier to throw the crap away too.

* Follow the directions step by step, using the method, technique, and parts they specify. Nobody knows how to put it together better than the folks who made it.

* And lastly, once the assembly is complete, go through everything again to make sure there's nothing you missed. Also, take the directions and file them somewhere. You might have to disassemble it someday and put it back together again. I have a folder in my file cabinet with every set of directions for everything we have.

If all else fails, get a BFH or a stiff drink; whatever works for you.