Friday, July 23, 2004

The next President

Via Ezra at Pandagon:

In the President's world:

[Bush] contrasted his philosophy with that of his likely Democratic opponent, Senator John Kerry of Massachusetts. Mr. Bush characterized Mr. Kerry as intent on expanding the size of the federal government, raising taxes and giving bureaucrats control over the lives of individuals.

Is that really the campaign he thinks Kerry is running? Is that the campaign he thinks is beating him in the polls?

"My fellow Americans. It is time to remake this great country, to rebuild and repair our shining city on a hill. [wild cheers] To do that, I promise a Kerry Administration will be huge, reaching into every facet of American life and more bloated than a three-day-old corpse dredged up from the river. [standing ovation] Yes I promise higher taxes for ALL Americans -- no longer will we be divided by race or class -- in a Kerry Administration, you will ALL pay more to finance my enormous government. [women faint from excitement, little children wet themselves from happiness] Yes America, it is time to explode into the future and ensure our country's bureaucrats have total control over you and yours. They will be given keys to your homes, codes to your garages, and candlelit dinners with your wives. Yes America, relax, the era of big government has WILL SOON BEGIN! [crowd combusts in throes of big-government anticipatory ecstasy]"

No wonder Bush is behind in the polls.

What's the deal with Bush/Cheney '04? They got this guy elected in 2000 and this is the best they can do, mouthing the old Republican lines from '68?

Your next President, John Kerry:

John Kerry and John Edwards will stand up for America's values and have a plan to build an America that is strong at home and respected in the world. They believe we can have a strong economy focused on good-paying jobs, a health care plan that reduces costs, an energy plan that frees us from Mideast oil, and they believe we can strengthen our military and lead strong alliances that keep America safe and secure.

  • Children & Families
  • Civil Rights
  • Economy
  • Education
  • Energy
  • Environment
  • Health Care
  • Homeland Security
  • National Security
  • National Service
  • Rural America
  • Science and Technology
  • Stronger Communities
  • Veterans
  • Women

  • Don't believe all the bullshit you hear from the fucking pundits. Hear it from the man himself. I mean, has President Holy War told you how he's gonna fuck up the country in the next four years?

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