Dear Senator Kerry,
You dithering fuckwit. Do you imagine for one nanosecond that a letter ("Dear Senators, I am writing to ask that you vote against Samuel Alito's nomination to the Supreme Court and work hard to convince other Senators to join you") signed by thousands or hundreds of thousands or millions of Democrats, and then waved around on the Senate floor by you, is going to change a single Republican vote? It won't. It might allow you to experience a momentary illusion of usefulness. It might allow you to feel as though you Fought the Good Fight and Went Down Swingin', and yes, that would be very nice for you, but in practical terms? Please. The one and only way to keep Alito from sitting on the Supreme Court for the rest of our natural lives is to filibuster his wack ass, and that means pulling your own party into line. Could you do us that little favor? Are you up to it?
We would be happy indeed to sign a letter urging you and your gormless colleagues, a couple of whom used to represent the interests of the American people on the rare occasions when they could be roused from their torpor, to support a filibuster against a cracker jurist who is actively hostile to the rights of women and minorities and who advocates de facto dictatorship. Do you have such a letter? No? Then we can't help you, except to recommend that you stock up on Astroglide before you toddle down to the Senate floor to assume your characteristic position. By the way, don't ever bother us again.
Sincerely,
Simbaud
King of Zembla
That about covers it.
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