GOP Offered Blanket Plea Bargain Agreement
Attention Republicans in the Federal Government: Provide state's evidence now and guarantee yourself a reduced sentence!
This is a one-time only offer. Void as of November 7, 2006.
All prison terms from subpoenas or arrest warrants delivered beginning November 7, 2006 will be for the maximum as required by law.
Protect yourself today. First-come, first-rewarded.
This is not a gimmick! This is a real legal agreement, certified by the National Democratic Party under the official auspices of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, United States Department of Justice (pending) and United States Joint Houses of Congress (pending)
Why are the Democratic Party and combined United States law enforcement agencies making such an offer? There must be a catch.
No! There is no catch. This is patriotism, good citizenship and democracy in action, to protect the beloved U.S. Constitution and your own federal government.
This offer can be made because you are not the focus of any inquiry. You may even be able to avoid prison time completely, if your evidence is strong enough. And even if you do have to serve jail time...it will be at drastically reduced sentences!!
Because you are not the focus of any inquiry.
Act NOW while you still have habeas corpus rights. Remember, law enforcement agencies can wiretap you without warrants, so your chances of avoiding arrest by rogue government bureaus have already been drastically reduced. Act NOW to protect yourself.
Do yourself a favor. Do your family a favor. Do your country a favor. Protect the United States Constitution. And guarantee yourself a reduced sentence!
Offer valid from sea to shining sea.
Expires November 7, 2006.
Now we're talkin'! Damn, I hope this is on the level, but it might be a gag. If it is, it's not funny.