Reminds me of a story: during WWII, there was a shortage of toilet paper in England (damn those U-boats!) and it got so bad at one point that a directive was issued to USAAF pilots that they were to limit their tissue usage to three sheets per man per 'occurence'. This prompted one officer to inquire of the enlisted English orderly who had the onerous duty of issuing the TP ration, "How in hell am I supposed to wipe with only three sheets?"
To which the orderly replied, "One up, one down, one polish, sir."
By the way, there is a way to only use one sheet. If anybody doesn't know it I will gladly describe it upon request. Warning: not for the faint of heart or overly fastidious.
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