Saturday, October 20, 2007

Hey, Idiots ...

And I'm talking about Dems in Congress, it's about time you understood causal relationships. Chris Dodd does. He does something good, like standing up to that shitty FISA bill and he gets money from us.

Senator Dodd's campaign communications director Hari Sevugan tells me that $150,000 in small contributions have poured into Dodd's campaign in the past 24 hours, since his announcement that he will put a hold on--and may even filibuster--a foreign intelligence surveillance bill approved yesterday by the Senate Intelligence Committee ...

As for Harry Reid, since you don't understand why we elected a Dem majority last year, I'm prepared to write you a check matching your donations from the telecom industry for the past five years if it would convince you to do your job. I realize it's a simple Pavlovian training procedure, the same one I use to train my dogs, but I'm hoping it's something you'll understand. You sure as hell don't understand what "doing the right thing" means, maybe money might motivate you to look out for your fellow man as opposed to special interests.

Yes, Harry, $25,000 can be yours (I'll even pay cash). All you have to do is show up at my front door and ask for it. Of course, you'll have to agree to push my agenda, but that's what it's all about, ain't it? (Hey, lobbyists do the same thing in back rooms, but if I gotta bribe ya, I want everyone to know it. You and I can pose for pictures. We can even get one of those 'big checks' made up. You know, the kind they give to the lottery winners? Or, if you want cash, we can get pics of me handing you a briefcase.)

I generally frown on bribery, but it seems dead presidents are the only things that hold your attention. The average guy like me, the majority of Americans, have been ignored by you in favor of people with bucks. We're desperate, Harry, desperate for leadership, and if money will buy it, so be it.

And a note to Dem Presidential candidates: Mr. Dodd just jumped out in front of the rest of you by a length in the effort to get my vote in the primaries. Take note.

And an aside to Mr. Dodd: If you do manage to pull off this filibuster/hold, you'll get the max donation from me (Sorry, but nobody gets money from me before the fact anymore. Prove your worth and you get it, not before)

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