Open a party's flaps and you get Big Tent Chaos; close them and you get small-minded, ideological insurgency -- either way, and in any combination, you get a legislative brick wall.
Nothing a suitable application of high explosives won't fix, old chap!
Sure, Congressional Democrats are, uh, dispiriting. But even the slightly suggested prospect of a Speaker John Boehner? A Majority Leader Eric Cantor? Pass the Prozac -- and supersize me on that.
A 55 gallon drum oughta do it...