Friday, September 3, 2004

Lawyers At Work

This an actual warning on a box of nails (Steve Harvey, LATimes, 9/03/04):

"Do not shoot nails through any part of your body. This could cause long lasting damage, hurt like Heck, and cause you to use language unbecoming a professional. Although we appreciate your creativity, do not use strips of nails as a comb, toothbrush, Q-tip, musical instrument or anything other than fastening wood together. All Halsteel nails are engineered to come equipped with one pointy end (the business end) and one flat end. Keep the pointy end directly opposite anything that can bleed or be damaged. Don't bite on nails (even for the iron), run with scissors in your hand or sit too close to the TV. You should wait 30 minutes before entering the pool after eating, don't blow dry your hair in the bathtub and don't make funny faces or cross your eyes (they'll stay that way.)"
I think he must have seen this box of nails on the shelf of the hardware store in Crawford, Texas. It sounds like the brand Dubya would use. I wonder if the directions for use are on the other side of the box. I hope they're not on the bottom. All the nails would fall out while he was figuring out how to use them.

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