Obama shakes hands with people we're supposed to hate. Are we all going to die?
Clearly this is not the way we're supposed to behave. Clearly this is not what we, as a formerly grumpy, petulant, first-world nation, expect from our president, from our attitude, from our typical chest-thumping, saber-rattling, kill-'em-all posture in the world.
See, what we do is, we stomp in. We huff and snort and make a portentous entrance full of cold swagger and terse, screw-you-if-you-disagree handshakes, ignoring the clammy mitts of those inflammatory commie jerks we don't like because they've called us icky names in the past but whose illegal narcotics we will gladly purchase by the megaton and whose oil we're going to go in and forcibly steal anyway ha ha sucker.
At such piffling events, we expect our president to do the usual macho dance, puff out his chest and shove our usual demands for compliance down everyone's throat, talk up military intervention and enrage those selfsame angry little countries even more by reiterating who's really in charge of this violent, overheated speck of a planet. Hey, it worked for Dubya, right? I mean, except for the global contempt and seething mistrust?
But then comes Obama. As usual, it appears he did not get the memo. He is clearly that most un-American of U.S. leaders, entirely dismissive of precedent and totally devoid of our characteristic bullying arrogance and openly disrespectful of How It's All Supposed To Go Down.
Naturally, all this articulate, respectful diplomacy means one of two things.
One: We are blindly kowtowing to all sorts of scummy, evil forces of the underworld and undermining America's godlike supremacy, and soon will be overrun by drug lords and baby rapists and fat, sweaty, cigar-chomping socialists who love to coddle baby-raping drug lords. This is known as the "Fox News angle." Also known as the "Hysteria Special," and also, simply, "The Limbaugh."
"Two" is simply too awful for the Repug bullies to consider. Enjoy.