[. . .]
I think of that story every time I ponder the presidential campaign's most coveted commodity these days: the undecided voter. It boggles my mind that in the midst of the most polarized campaign in memory, with starkly defined issues and candidates who are opposites, some people can't make up their minds.
How can that be? Do these people get stumped at the newsstand about whether to buy the National Enquirer or the Wall Street Journal? Vacillate in the shoe store between Birkenstock sandals or Blahnik spikes? Linger at the liquor store over the competing virtues of grain alcohol or Cristal champagne?
[. . .]
Come on, do you like someone peeing on your head an telling you it's raining? If NOTHING else, we'll hear the truth from Kerry. Godammit, make up your fucking minds, it ain't that hard.