In what is being hailed as the end of the free world, Microsoft, McDonald’s, and Christianity have joined forces to form a single $300 billion/1.9 billion adherent corporate-religious entity known as McRosoftianity. The resulting mega-church/corporation is projected to manage virtually every aspect of the global economy and culture in just a few short months.
“We are absolutely thrilled because together we can control the world in ways that any one of us could have only dreamed of,” said Bill Gates, now high chairman-priest of McRosoftianity. “Our goal is to bring people together by making McRosoftianity the world’s sole provider of food, technology, and spirituality.”
“To assure quality, your food will be compiled by only the fastest processors, and any misinterpretations of your order will be addressed by our patented Stained Glass Windows Updater as the Crucial-Fixes become available,” continued Gates. “Version 3:16 should be very stable, but if problems persist, simply offer a McPrayer to the Lord and MS Paint some RAM’s blood over your doorpost.”
Ever so much more. Go read about the future.