It's not cheap to get John McCain's 72-year-old face ready for prime-time.
John McCain, whose ads skewer Barack Obama for his "celebrity" status, has his own close ties to show business, the new issue of Us Weekly reports exclusively.
The 72-year-old was recently made TV-ready by makeup artist Tifanie White who's worked on So You Think You Can Dance and American Idol.
McCain paid the 2002 beauty-school grad $5,583.43 for her services, according to the Federal Election Commission.
I can dig the need for some touch-up. McCain's normal coloring is roughly the same as a spark plug reading indicating near-stoichiometry. That color is known to mechanics as 'Mortician Gray'. I think most of the money paid to that young lady went for Bondo. My own sanity rests* in not dwelling on what parts of him are rusted out...
*I was gonna say 'Depends', but that's another subject. See 'rusted out'.
Note to Johnny-boy: Save yourself some money. Go get a pre-paid funeral and get the guy to throw in some pre-need cosmetological service. Who knows, maybe you can go directly from the debate, if you show up, to the grave without any more makeup.