Saturday, December 11, 2004

Friday Night On Long Island

Last night I was clicking around the TV guide and came across Insomniac with Dave Attell on Comedy Central. That's a funny show: He goes to different cities around the world and samples the night life. Since the little description said he was gonna be on Long Island, I decided to watch as I actually know some folks who live there.

He started in Amagansett (disclaimer: If I spell some of the place names wrong, fuck it) and his premise was to drink his way back to Manhattan.

He went to bars in North Hampton and Bridgehampton. The other patrons were young and buff, not like him. He bitched about the price of drinks and chatted it up with folks.

Then he went to the Bartender's Academy in Centereach. I kinda wondered what they do with all the drinks they make for practice.

He visited his mom in his hometown of Rockville Center. She's great. She showed his baby pictures and gave him a bath. I'm not kidding. He rode away on a bicycle.

Then he made a phone call from the "Big Duck" that went something like, "Yeah, a forty-foot tall duck. No, I'm not drunk".

He had cocktails in Freeport (oysters, too), Jamaica, and Coney Island. The bar patrons were starting to get a little more diverse.

The best part was a ride in a street sweeper (mechanized broom) down Flatbush Ave. in Brooklyn. The driver was a really jovial black lady who told him stories that cracked me up.

Then he scampered across a bridge to Manhattan and returned to his crib where the guy who had been sitting it for him had had a wild birthday party and there were beer cans, overflowing ashtrays and general post-bash litter.

He traveled by car, bicycle, Harley-Davidson, shuttle, thumb, a fishing boat and the sweeper.

Good show. Lotta action in a half hour.

I wouldn't have cared one way or the other about Long Island if hadn't been for Fixer. See, this blogging is educational as well as fun and therapeutic. My horizons have been broadened and that's a good thing.

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