In a dramatic new study published in a leading scientific journal, paleontologists have concluded that the GOP is living proof that the theories of both evolution, and intelligent design, have been totally discredited.
After studying Fossils and Neanderthals like Dick Cheney and Tom DeLay, the Report concludes that the Republicans, who seem to be constantly swimming in the muck, have regressed to the point that a new theory of "Devolution" has to be seriously considered.
As one of the leading authors of the study put it: "From the Emancipation Proclamation to Willie Horton, from Teddy Roosevelt's environmental policies to Bush's 'Clean Skies’ and 'Healthy Forests,' well, you make the call."
The Report's Conclusion succinctly summarizes the backward slide of the GOP:
Lincoln? Teddy Roosevelt?
That's really far-flung
It's now the Party...of Elephant Dung
However, a footnote to the Report speculates that a proposed study of the Democrats might yield yet additional proof of "devolution," as evidenced by their lack of a spine.
Sometimes I get the feeling that our limbs are getting shorter as our gills re-emerge, as we head across the shore toward the breakers...