Pliers

Yes, I'd like to use them on the Chimp's nuts, but I saw this over at Skippy's (don't know how I missed it at Neil's yesterday) and had to direct you there. Neil Shakespeare calls the mechanic and yes, I stole the whole thing (of course, you still have to go to his site to see the great artwork):

Nothing like a flat tire to bring spring work to a halt. Called the tire service place. They sent out their mobile guy. Nice guy.

We're chit-chatting in the sunshine while he changes the tire. Gets the old tire off the rim. Gonna put on a new valve stem. Reaches into his toolbox, brings out a pair of pliers. He shows them to me and grins.

"From Iraq," he says. "My oldest boy is 19. Just got back from an 11-month tour over there. Specialty tool. Military. He brought it back for me.

I didn't know his politics, so I said something safe. "The military's got a tool for everything, don't they?

"Yeah. We got 'em too, but there's are better.

"Your son, he OK?

"Yeah, he was luckier than some.

"What does...um, what does he think of it?

"The war? Bullshit. Those people have been fighting each other for centuries. What the hell are we doin' jumpin' in the middle of it? My dad he doesn't understand why somebody hasn't shot Bush. I tell him, 'Why waste a good bullet? He ain't worth the lead in a .22 shell.

The defense rests. Gotta go to work...fixing cars...