Sunday, February 11, 2007

Horror fantasy and a trip down memory lane

Boy, now they've done it! I mean, political humor at Bush's expense is a good thing, but putting him in a Marine uniform is going too far!

On the other hand, if he'd put himself in Marine Green back in the day, we wouldn't be in the deep shit we are now because of him. If the Corps had taken leave of its senses enough to accept his puny ass, or been prescient enough to realize they could have saved the world a lot of pain in the now-present future, they maybe could've made a man out of him (yeah, granted there isn't much to work with but ze Corps hass its vays, trust me, I know) and he wouldn't have felt the need to show his dad how macho he is(n't).

One, just one, Drill Instructor having a 'moment of prayer', at high volume and 'up close and personal' of course, could've saved the world.

This completely ignores the fact that Bush has never possessed the balls to do something like try to become a Marine. Or any kind of actual serviceman. No letters, please.

A word about Gomer's utility jacket, which is the same kind I was issued: take note of the covered buttons on the front and pockets. These were an excellent feature. The buttons wouldn't tear off when you were low crawling, and when the laundry broke less than three in a row it wouldn't show when the jacket was starched.

Also, the jacket had a large inside pocket with a vertical full-width opening on the left side. This was ostensibly for carrying a Bible (I swear, they told me that!), but it also came in handy at the PX...

Sadly, these jackets went the way of the buffalo when SecDef McNamara commonized uniform issue amongst the services to save money and started issuing doggie (US Army) jackets to everybody. We also had really comfy and durable rough-out combat boots that went away under the same plan. The old ones were a bitch to shine, but wore like iron and didn't hurt your feet, which were the basic mode of transportation. The new ones shined easy, but also scratched easy and broke in hard.

On the plus side, the common uniforms made it easier to impersonate Army personnel for 're-supply' purposes, and just about anything we 'requisitioned' from the Army was an upgrade. Their C-Rations were even a lot newer than ours, and their toilet paper was less scratchy, given that soldiers were a more delicate bunch...

I can only imagine the finery and luxuries that could have been ours had we had Air Force resources within striking distance nearby! Ah, to dream...

OK, write the damn letters!

No comments: