March 13, 2007 - In what many political observers consider a bruising blow to a potential 2008 White House bid by Newt Gingrich, the former Speaker of the House lost one of his longtime supporters today when Satan announced that he would not support a Gingrich candidacy.
[...] Dressed in his traditional red cape and carrying a smoldering pitchfork, Satan stated in no uncertain terms that he would be withholding his endorsement from his former colleague: "Not only am I not supporting Newt, I am giving his soul back."
Gingrich with a soul? He's doomed politically...
Ease yer mind, Ol' Scratch, you'll get him back eventually.
Satan's announcement was particularly hurtful to the potential GOP presidential candidate because, in the words of Gingrich supporter Tracy Klujian, "Newt and Satan have worked so closely together in the past."
Gingrich supporter Klujian remains hopeful, however, that the breach between the two infernal colleagues can somehow be mended: "You can win the GOP nomination without Satan's help, but it's not easy."
As we've said before, satire and irony are way too close to the truth these days.