It was the strangest thing. Mortifying but illuminating. Like Paul on the road to Damascus, or Donald Trump suddenly realizing he’d been out-Americaned by Barack Obama. The truth struck me like lightning during the turbulent middle week of May. The week that was supposed to end in the Rapture. The week when Texas legislators decided, once and for all, that they were going to gut public schools, dismantle social services and damn the consequences. The week when Rush Limbaugh & Co. restarted the Perry for President bandwagon with a desperate vengeance.
My revelation? I want Rick Perry to run for president. Texas needs Rick Perry to run for president. It could be the only hope, I suddenly saw, for reclaiming this state from the plutocracy whose interests Perry has served with Machiavellian cunning. The only way that this shriveled husk of a human being would ever be put in his rightful place—the only way he’d be unmasked, once and for all, as a pernicious, corrupt and morally bankrupt politician.
And now imagine the questions from the panel of reporters. George Will, George Stephanopolous, Anderson Cooper, Lady Gaga — doesn’t matter. It goes something like this:
“Governor Perry, you have hinged your campaign on your success in bringing jobs to the State of Texas. But during the period you boast about, your state added more minimum-wage jobs than the 49 other states combined. Texas now has more citizens living in poverty, more uninsured children and adults than any other state. Is that your vision for America?”
Mr. Moser, I understand you're trying to do your best for Texas by getting Goodhair out of the Governor's office and for good reason, but the rest of us are perfectly happy and content to keep your crazy and deluded and corrupt pols inside the asylum/zoo so we can watch from afar.