Monday, January 10, 2005

Earth to Captain Video

James Wolcott is at it again. You'll have to read three or four of his posts to find these excerpts. Just my way of making sure you get to read all his good stuff.
It's going to break Norman Podhoretz's peach-pit heart, but it will soon become time to recognize the inevitable and blow the whistle on the World War IV he and the neocons have been so determined to wage. At some point Dick Cheney will place a fatherly paw on Dubya's shoulder and say, "Earth to Captain Video: Time to bug out--I mean, withdraw in an orderly fashion." It's going to be hard breaking the news to the little fella.

As Vanity Fair's "Teen Scene" correspondent, I have a vested interest in the welfare of America's children, especially those in bare midriffs who know how to shake it. It is vital to ensure that no child be left behind, because once left behind, he or she begin to loiter at the mall and drift into a River's Edge lifestyle. Children are the precious hope of this country's doomed future. They will be the ones who will have to replant the ravaged forests and restore America's reputation in the world after the ignorant idler currently pretending to be president returns to Crawford, Texas to fall off his tricyle in retired disgrace.

A little gentler than Norman Mailer, maybe, but still a credit to New York City.

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