Grab a bev kids,this is going to take a few. Oh,and I'm going to curse like a sailor too,deal.
Comfy?Good.And so it begins....
To riff off of Fixer a bit and then veer off some, I HAVE HAD IT. I wish I could sue the GOP for alienation of affection. I liken it,in some ways,to some sexy young thing who seduces your spouse at work,it happens,alot,so it's not unusual. And then let's say your spouse,trying to make you the bad guy in all this,treats you like shit and becomes a complete asshole so YOU'LL end up having to be the one to initiate the divorce. Because the person you once loved became a cowardly,lying,cheating scumbag. And then,once you get sick of the bullshit and the abuse(and the lying,OMG,the lying),stand your ground and get the fuck out of there with some semblance of sanity and dignity left,your soon to be ex fights you right down to the last fucking cobweb you once owned together. Just to plunge the final knife into your heart. You see them actually ENJOYING it. Can you imagine? Well,in this case the GOP is the hot young love interest of the spouse,and the spouse is America. They took my country,that I once loved so very much(and still do,but what I loved about this place is pretty much gone,or at the very least gone into hiding),and turned it into everything I hate. And I'm fairly certain America hates me too. At least the part of America that "counts",you know,rich mostly white people. The ones that run things and have all the odds in their favor.
As if all this crininally insane and sadistic,vicious and evil "debate"about torture isn't enough, as if the insane,spittle flecked rabid insanity hurled at anything good and right and true doesn't do enough damage, I find myself with nowhere to escape.I'm surrounded by self centered,clueless idiots.
After I dropped Atilla the Fun off at school this morning,I headed out to the store,post office and assorted Friday morning errands. As I often do when I'm out and about,I notice people,and I pay attention to what's happening with the air,water,land and wildlife. What I see happening around here doesn't bode well for the future.
I live on a two lane road,in what used to be a mix of farm country(small farms) and older houses,built from the 50's to the 70's. Most of the farms are abandoned now,much of the land was allowed to go back to being forest and meadows long,long ago. Some of the little farms are still working farms,but they're smaller than they used to be.The land is either being sold off or allowed to return to it's wild state because of the cost to keep it producing. In the last 3 yrs or so,high dollar subdivisions have been eating away at these large pieces of acreage and now the traffic is a mess and we're losing huge old trees by the thousands. Long time residents here have been fighting road widening projects and development for years,but we always seem to lose in the end. Just in the last few days,another 750 acres of land has gone up for re-zoning, for more fucking subdivisions and strip malls and office buildings. My home,and many other of the older homes sit rather close to the road. If the road gets widened,we'll have four lanes at our front doors(which ain't legal,and god knows what the county will do to all of us to screw us out of our homes).
We fought this crap last year,the plans to widen the road were scrapped because of public pressure. BUT,that hasn't stopped the developers from proceeding anyway with building more and more shit,which will increase traffic even more,which means the road will HAVE to be widened anyway. All the resident's actions are really just postponing the inevitable. I'm wagering the pressure on us to sell for less than the property is worth will start within the next year and a half. If we don't sell and try to hang on,I'm afraid they'll just condemn the place and take it anyway. Fuck that,I'm not going into more debt to attorneys to fight this crap.
I'm seeing LOTS of dead wildlife on the side of the road now.Used to be you'd see the occasional family pet that got loose and killed by cars,or a 'possum or big old snake now and then,and rarely someone would hit a deer. Today I saw 5 dead racoons,an owl that had probably got hammered by an SUV and flung to the side of the road,a fox, and a small deer all recently killed,probably last night. All within a two mile stretch.
I have to get my family out of here. My husband is torn. He has a really good paying job,but it's come with an enormous price. Mostly that we never see him. And when he is here,he's not really "here". I'm about one step away from taking his fucking Treo thingy and that piece of crap Blackberry away from him, throw them into the driveway,along with his work laptop, and proceed to run over them repeatedly with my car.And then light the remains on fire. The job is trashing his health, and he doesn't take care of himself. I admire his drive,but he could take a job for less pay,I could get something part time,we could live in a smaller house,drive older cars,and we'd be just fine. In fact,we might actually be able to start saving some money for a change.
Like so many men,my husband's identity is tied to his success at work. And I'll admit,the money is nice(but we are in debt too-which is where lots of the income goes,mostly because the man is bad with money,long story),but I'd rather live on less in a less populated area. I don't know how you convince a workaholic that it's not failure if you don't die with the most toys. I'm seriously considering making an actual business presentation to him,using pie charts and graphs and shit to communicate to him in language he can relate to. I'm NOT kidding. He pays the idea lip service,but makes no move to change. I think he's scared,not just of failing,but of change itself. Besides,he gets tons of strokes for doing what he does; decent insurance,paid vacations, trips where all his expenses are paid,cash bonuses,and a decent yearly wage and notice from the CEOs. That IS alot to give up after working so hard to get it. I've checked all over the country,looking at job listings, looked at the base pay for what he does,and he'd be lucky to make 2/3 of what he does now. This is not going to be an easy sell.
Since it's obvious to me this economy is about to take a huge crap pretty soon(we cannot go on like this and I see no signs that anyone's getting a clue that could do something about it),I don't want to live anywhere near a big city or it's suburbs when that happens. With our rights being eroded,dissent being treated as criminal, a thoroughly corrupt government and business climate, and a gross sense of self importance and entitlement running rampant,when things head into the crapper in a big way,it's gonna be UG-LEE. I want no part of it. I want OUT.
Ack. This is getting to me too much. I actually started bawling in the grocery store this morning. Good thing the place wasn't crowded and no one saw me,I damned near embarassed myself.