DES MOINES (The Borowitz Report) January 4, 2012 – Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney was overjoyed today after finishing the Iowa caucuses in a virtual tie with a walking joke who wears sweater vests.
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Historians noted that the last time so few people decided a Presidential race they were all on the Supreme Court.
Grrrrr. That one meant a helluva lot more than this one did.
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And former House Speaker Newt Gingrich addressed speculation about whether he would leave the race: "Not unless it gets cancer."
Heh ...
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