I wonder if he does it in church...

I guess we've all heard that the Chimp likes to fart at inappropriate times, like he does everything else that's socially objectionable. The Boston Herald has a good piece on it.

Maybe if Iraq were going better, I'd chalk this up to some cowboy thing. "Blazing Saddles Does D.C."

As it is, I worry that the supposed leader of the free world is trapped in the body of a 7-year-old and hiding a Whoopie Cushion under his bed.

Has Dubya lost it?

He 'lost it' a long time ago, lady. If he ever had it, that is. Doubtful at best.

Anyway, here's the news, such as it is. U.S. New & World Reports' Paul Bedard says our commander in chief "loves flatulence jokes...can't get enough of fart jokes. He's also known to cut a few for laughs, especially when greeting new young aides."

Naturally, the aide can't accuse the President or grimace or hold his nose. This dilemma apparently drives the presidential funny bone wild.

Granted, anybody misguided enough to take a job working for that asshole probably ain't gonna have the stones to say, "Ya better wipe. That's liable to itch when it dries."

Does he do this with Cheney, Rummy and Rove?

"You mean the old farts?" says Bedard. "I like to think so."

Or anybody else who's got their nose up his ass. "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

But this latest leak from the Bush White House does explain a lot, doesn't it? All those furrowed brows and deer-in-the-headlights pauses in his speeches and press conferences. And that devilish litle laugh.

Now we know: something else could be going on there. I'll never look at George again without wondering.

There seems to be a Hell of a lot more goin' on in his intestinal tract than ever went on in his head, but I coulda told ya that. The punk farts every time he opens his mouth.

In the true spirit of AFAB*, good ol' American marketing genius has caught up with this pretty fast, too. Yeesh.

*Anything For A Buck.