Saturday, August 26, 2006

On career women ...

A lot of the ladies in Left Blogtopia (y!sctp!) have been on this for a couple days, and Texas Jaye does a great point/counterpoint on this stupid article about why men shouldn't marry career women.

Point: Don't Marry Career Women
Counterpoint: Don't Marry An Asshole.

I figured, since I'm a man married to an exremely successful career woman, I should add my two cents. Simple, for these morons to understand.

The guys who have a problem with successful women have a problem with themselves first. If you're a 'stuff' kinda guy, one of those 'he who dies with the most toys wins', find yourself a subservient woman. Find yourself a girl who can live with being one of your toys. One of those who doesn't mind being an accessory to you, much as women accessorize their outfits with belts, bags, and shoes. An independent, successful woman won't put up with that attitude for long.

If the amount of money you make is a competition for you, marry a girl who doesn't mind working for minimum wage. Your little weenie is gonna take a serious whack when she starts making more than you do. Same thing if she reaches a higher position in the corporation than you do.

If you think that once you're married, your new wife should suddenly turn into your maid, find a woman who wants to stay home and pick up after your lazy ass. A career woman will come home from a hard day's work the same way you do, tired and pissed. Expecting her, after a full day of work, to start cleaning the house is selfish and stupid, and it's gonna bite you in the ass eventually.

If you're a guy who subscribes to the doctrine that your woman whould stay home and spit out kids, find a woman who wants that life. If you try and force a woman to do what she's not willing to, it will also come back to bite you in the ass.

If you have visions of grandeur, that you are the patriarch and what you say goes, period, find an American Christian woman. A woman who's a mover and shaker in her particular field ain't gonna come home from work and say 'yes, dear, whatever you want', not for long anyway.

Marry a career woman if you want a partner. Marry her if you want someone who can think on her feet, be able to socialize with anyone from the Hell's Angels to the Rockefellers, and stand her ground in adverse situations. Marry her if you don't care she makes more than you do, and actually take pride in her success. Marry her if you don't need her to make you a man, this means you Hummer and sports car drivers, and she doesn't need you to make her life complete. Marry her because you want to share the housework duties. Marry because you want to share your lives, not because you need each other to fill some little space on your trophy shelf.

I'm married to a beautiful, intelligent, independent woman who makes 10 times what I do, hobnobs with the presidents and CEOs of Fortune 500 companies and international conglomerates, and has a global reputation in her field. Mention her name from Tokyo to Paris and it will be recognized. Guess what? She doesn't need me. She wants to be with me, has been for 17 years, and I like that. She doesn't need me for a source of income or anything else. She wants to be with me for who I am, the kind of man I am, not for 'stuff' reasons, and that is a very good feeling because if she wanted she could get any man she set her sights on.

Don't marry a career woman? My ass. If you're fortunate enough for a career woman to take a shine to you, the onus is on you to be a real man because career women can tell the difference.

And let me just add this disclaimer after the fact. I do not mean to say women who are stay at home moms are any less of a woman than a career woman. The job of raising kids is one of the hardest jobs going and if the husband is a lazy bastid, there will be problems too. The Mrs. and I were of the same mind regarding kids, neither of us wanted them, and we hashed that all out before we got married. We were well aware of each other's expectations when we did say 'I do'. That doesn't mean it's been all bliss either but when two people honestly love and respect each other, anything can be worked out. We've changed and grown with each other and that's what makes for an excellent marriage. Marriage is about genuine compromise whether the woman stays at home and raises kids or is a big macher in business.

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